April 26, 2017

How do we know that we’re successful in the world? One of the aspects of a patriarchal culture, like the one we live in, is that we’ve all been taught a definition of what success is. We’ve been trained to go for certain markers that demonstrate success – external events, or circumstances that our culture...

April 12, 2017

I got what I wanted. Exactly what I longed for. At the precise moment that I wanted it. Wow. Life is amazing. I am amazing. Who has ever had the opportunity to say those words? Seems like desires are somewhat more mysterious than that. Somewhat less generous. We get what we want long before we...

March 22, 2017

There are so many ways for a woman to ‘go for it’. From bold and blazing balls of public fire, like Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, to quieter but equally powerful ways, like my mama. Many of you know my mom because she has not missed a class weekend in over 12 years. She is the...

March 14, 2017

Do you know what it feels like at the precipice of a huge sea change in your life? Ever been there? Are you there right now? If so, then you know, it ain’t always pretty. It’s vulnerable. It’s open. It’s scary. It’s messy. It’s so tempting to give up, throw in the towel, and pretend...

March 07, 2017

It is so easy to make the same choice over and over and over again. Making a bold decision and stepping into something new is almost impossibly difficult. Usually we have to be chased by something achingly painful – like a viciously unhappy relationship. Or deep physical discomfort. Or a job we hate that does...

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March 02, 2017

Has anyone ever told you to just get out there and FEEL? FEEL loudly? WEEP uncontrollably? RAGE like an angry lioness? HOWL like a bitch in heat? Cry MORE? SCREAM your head off? What women have been trained, taught and conditioned, their whole lives, is to turn down the volume and velocity of their emotions...

February 21, 2017

Have you ever felt so done in? That you just could not. Not even. One more step. I mean, really. See if you can find yourself here: “I am utterly depleted. How do I keep my sex life alive with my husband, when I am so burnt out from work, and kids?” “I am constantly...

February 14, 2017

This Valentine’s day I’m thinking a lot about sisterhood. And the tender, irreplaceable, fierce love that’s possible and necessary between women. I fly close with my flock. There would be no way on earth I would be with my boyfriend, now, if not for my pal Nicole, who put me in a serious headlock when...

February 07, 2017

Is your light on or off? Right now. Take a quick test: Do you feel flush with enthusiasm? Beautiful? Strong? Confident? Good. Then your light is on. And, ummmm…. If you are annoyed or irritated by this question, your light is resoundingly off. There are lots of very good reasons why we dim our light,...

January 31, 2017

I ran into a girlhood friend, Nancy. We had not seen one another in more than 40 years. She has a quiet life in the country, married to her childhood sweetheart, and working as a high school guidance counselor, in Vermont. In the last year, she and her husband separated, she battled diabetes, lost a...

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