I just turned in the second draft to my editor, and I am gearing up for the third and final round of edits for this book, which had been busting a hole through my soul for several years.
And I gotta say, this bitch is burnt, fried and crispy.
Even when you love love love (and did I say love what you are doing), you can still get truly and deeply stuck. Depleted. Over it.
You know the feeling. . .
You love your kids but you are just burnt, fried and crispy at dealing with one more argument or making one more dinner.
You love your job – or you hate your job – and either way it’s almost impossible to want to go to work at the end of August when everyone you know is on vacation.
Sometimes you can get stuck in a toxic situation or relationship, and you are too burnt, fried and crispy to find your way back to sanity.
When we are stuck, we are essentially trapped in a full body bind of our own design.
And the feeling is so uncomfortable and stifling. We absolutely hate it when we feel trapped and are cut off from our creative flow and our life force.
When we feel trapped, we actually are trapped.
And the more we stay stuck, the more stuck we become.
So – what to do?
How to reconnect with our creative power? With the brilliant, turned on part of us that can solve any problem, and bring joy and fun anytime, anywhere?
How do we find our way back to that part of ourselves, when she’s nowhere to be found?
This is what I did this week, in my burnt, fried and crispy stuck place:
I called upon my higher power – Mama Gena.
I pulled out the Womanly Arts, and just like I teach my Boot Camp students, I used them to get out of my head, and into my body (where my sanity lives).
Mama Gena reminded me that it was my job to Have Fun, No Matter What.
So, I headed straight to a yoga class.
And that was good, but I knew it wasn’t quite good enough.
I knew I was going to need more to get me through my knothole.
So, I decided that I was going to flirt with every guy in my yoga class. I played with The Art of Flirtation, not in a huge way, just subtly. (Everyone is so serious at yoga.)
Later that day, on my way to pick my kid up from the Jitney, I figured it was time to lean into one more Womanly Art. Mama Gena insists that we don’t leave home until we are Owning our Beauty. So, even though I was in a wet bathing suit, I rocked a pair of hot sunglasses, a straw boater, and a sexy beach cover up. Maggie liked my look so much she took a photo of me, when she got off the bus.
Each of these seemingly small actions added up to replenish my well, soothe my burnt, fried and crispy brain, and get me right back into my body and into my creative flow and power.
The Womanly Arts are a way to tune your instrument so that you are consistently operating at your highest and best, rather than from a place of being stuck.
You see, pleasure is an orientation. It is a decision. It’s a conscious and deliberate choice to point your attention and behavior towards a better outcome.
I could have chosen to stay feeling stuck – it was so tempting to feel sorry for myself for having to work all summer, and then distract myself from my crankiness with email or ice cream so I would not have to feel what I was feeling.
Instead I rocked the Arts to get in my body, get into motion, and enjoy myself while doing what I need to do.
You know that sound a pump makes when it’s running out of water – that sick, gaspy, hoarse sound? That’s how we often feel as women. Rung out, run dry, over-used, depleted. And then when we’re stuck with the inevitable knotholes of life, it’s no wonder there just isn’t enough juice there to find a way through.
Use the Arts on the small, day to day things, so that when the big things come up (divorce, loss of your job, rupture in your family, death of a friend, etc., etc., etc.) you’re well-schooled with how to handle it.
Life works out better, more gracefully, more pleasurably, more successfully for a woman who is in her body, present, alive, and supported. That is an immutable truth. And, maintaining that state is no small task!
The key here is practice. And vigilance. And devotion to your own joy, creativity, and turn on.
Practice, so that when the S#*& hits the fan, you know what to do. You’ve got muscle memory. You’ve got a sisterhood to support you, and a community to keep you accountable to your greatness.
In the comments below, tell me, where are you stuck right now (big or small) and which Art, or two, do you think can help you get results in the best way? Have a question? Join us in the comments for that too.
I’ve asked a few grads to swing by and share their answers and thoughts, and I’ll join in the conversation too.
p.s. Once a year, we host an eight-week course called, Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp. It starts in a few weeks, and I want to invite you to check it out, if you haven’t already. Boot Camp goes deep inside each Womanly Art and how to bring them into action in your life. Whether things are going well and you’re looking to take life even higher, or you’re really struggling in one or more areas of your life . . . In Boot Camp, you’ll find the invitations, practices, support, and structure to make a difference.