Category: Relationships

September 18, 2018

I was getting a coffee when the news blasted this report: “The storm of a lifetime!” I know so many of us are in it. Truly in, in it. Big time. You, me and Florence. And Isaac, Helene, Barijat, Joyce, and Mangkhut. We’re in a swirl of hurricanes, typhoons, tropical depressions of the real and...

August 28, 2018

I think the most miserable times I have ever experienced in my life have been when things were “fine.” Boyfriend is fine. Business is fine. Life is just fine. Similarly, I am not okay with okay. Family is okay. Apartment is okay. Work is going okay. Okay drains my life force and Fine makes my...

June 19, 2018

Until we experience it, this I know: we all long for sisterhood. Even if we don’t call the ache by that name. I see it in the women-only events we host at The School. To be in a room of hundreds of women? Only women? It feels … different. It feels special. And it feels...

April 10, 2018

I’ve been doing some celebrating this week.  It’s not all I’ve been doing but it’s what I want to tell you about first. It’s nice to warm things up with a hot brag. My beloved bestseller, Pussy: A Reclamation, came out in paperback and it’s gorgeous!  And on the very first day, you made it one...

February 13, 2018

Good boys. Bad boys. Who’s sexier? Who turns you on the most? Whether you’re attracted to men or women, both, or neither, let’s tell some truth. I don’t know about you, but for much of my life, I have been a crash course missile, heading straight for a “bad boy.” So many of my girlfriends,...

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October 10, 2017

If we are lucky, blessed and showered with unbelievable and unasked-for magnificent grace – life is long. And the experiences we have are varied, multifaceted, and scampering all over the spectrum from shitty-as-fuck, to earth-shakingly ecstatic. (I am especially thinking of our brothers and sisters and animal friends in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the Caribbean...

September 06, 2017

There is a part of me that always wants to be in control, and to know I am “right”.  Oh I just love that feeling.  Maybe love is not the right word. It’s more like validated. By my own little inner taskmistress. I give myself a gold star of rightness that is as satisfying as...

August 02, 2017

So . . . he starts to kiss you in a way that makes you feel like he is a bull and you are a salt lick. But you really like him. So, you say nothing, and just kind of try to hope that one day it improves. Or: Your partner continues to drink too...

April 26, 2017

How do we know that we’re successful in the world? One of the aspects of a patriarchal culture, like the one we live in, is that we’ve all been taught a definition of what success is. We’ve been trained to go for certain markers that demonstrate success – external events, or circumstances that our culture...

March 22, 2017

There are so many ways for a woman to ‘go for it’. From bold and blazing balls of public fire, like Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, to quieter but equally powerful ways, like my mama. Many of you know my mom because she has not missed a class weekend in over 12 years. She is the...

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