Thank you so much for your amazing, beautiful questions from last week. I love it when we get to go back and forth, you giving me a window into your soul, into what is mattering most, what keeps you up at night and where your deepest longings lie.
I do not take your questions lightly.
Your desires, the things you want, are of deepest importance to me.
We are all in this together.
I have exactly the same challenges, the same yearnings, but I have a hat full of tools that I want you to be able to access, to pad your way to even deeper fulfillment.
There was a question that popped up many times, in several different forms.
I loved this question, because it is the iconic question of the age and time that we live in.
“I am utterly depleted. How do I keep my sex life alive with my husband, when I am so burnt out from work, and kids?”
“I am constantly stressed and depleted – how do I feel like a woman when I live and work in a man’s world?”
“Three kids, a house to take care of, I am depleted. Help.”
Can you see a theme here?
The word depletion is interesting. Webster says that depletion is ‘the reduction in the number or quantity of something.’
What is getting reduced here, in this age, this time, this place, for so many women?
The erotic has been banished from motherhood, the workplace, the traditional marriage. She’s been banished from our education, our spiritual practices, our social lives, aging, academia, healing, even our sex lives.
She has been overtaken by production. Doing. Working. Achieving. Which we are all so very very good at.
Each woman who posed a Q this week has absolutely no trouble working hard. She can do that with her eyes closed. She knows how to stay late at the office, how to hunker down, clean up the mess, give her all, get s&*t done, make it happen.
There is kind of a (cheap) thrill in how very very competent she is at anything and everything.
Because this kind of competence that we have all been taught to excel at, leaves a woman empty at the end of her very very long day.
She has given til the well is dry.
And just like all those acres of now-barren land in Fresno, California that used to produce millions of pounds of fruits and vegetables, the climate changes for a woman have left her high and left her dry.
And here is the really hard part:
The last place on earth that a woman has been taught to look is where the antidote lies.
The erotic is a wellspring, a continual never-ending source, running through each of us, constantly replenishing and renewing.
Which most of us have never been taught to access.
We have been taught to work hard, or harder. To give, or give more. To serve, and to service.
Flipping that switch feels kind of crazy-making. Embarrassing. Socially risky. And worst of all: unproductive.
The School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program is an in-depth journey into the reclamation and complete embodiment of the erotic soul of a woman.
But to begin here, allow me to lure you into a new neighborhood, and hold up a different lens.
I want you to consider taking all that excellence that you possess and use it in a different direction.
Today, before you begin looking after the kids, your man, checking your email…take a moment, and look after Her. Who is She? She is the part of you that loves music that makes her soul sing, loves beauty in every form, loves the word ‘exquisite,’ responds to poetry, to flowers, to soft touch and a sidelong glance. She adores praise, longs to have her magnificence noticed and responded to, and loves to walk slowly, feeling her hips sway gently from side to side. She loves candlelight. Magnificently prepared food. Ripe anything. Fragrance. The feeling of fabric against her skin. Dancing in her fashion. Things that sparkle or catch light. She loves to give of her deepest passion, and engage with every drop of her being. She loves nature, the changes in the weather, and making room inside for what she cherishes most deeply.
Most of us, as women, have been taught that we must wait and receive these experiences from another person.
Which leaves us high and dry.
There is another option.
What about each of us being responsible for handling our own depletion?
There is freedom there.
And all it takes is a willingness to experiment with a different choice.
For example, she might choose a poem in the morning, to take with her and read out loud every hour.
She might choose a theme song for the day that causes her connect to her beauty.
She might take a handful of rose petals and secretly trail them as she goes to the nursery to tend the baby, or hits the grocery store, knowing her presence is equally perfumed as the petals she drops in her own pathway.
She might spend her lunch hour designing a special tryst she is anticipating with her husband.
Can you feel the soul fuel in those choices?
The erotic is the deep connection that a woman has with the most sacred part of herself, the part of her that is both timeless and eternal, that never diminishes, but only intensifies, the more she pays attention to it.
When a woman is in constant investigation of her erotic landscape, her well never empties, her cup is always full. (Click to tweet!)
What can you do today, to feed your erotic nature?
In the comment section below…inspire me.
Inspire every woman in our community with the extravagance of your self-love. Filling your erotic longing is only a thought, and then an action, away.