My first response was “I can’t.”
It was November 9th, the results of our election were incredibly fresh, and just three days later, I was to lead the Fall session of The Womanly Arts Experience, with 900 women. I felt wallopped.
And I thought to myself, “I cannot do this.”
I cannot stand powerfully in front of a room full of women when I feel so personally knocked down. Wallopped.
Yes, I admit, my first response was that I wanted to run.
My fantasy was that if I stayed under my covers and hid, it would all somehow go away.
But I dragged my ass out of bed and went to the office, where I was surrounded by my team – women, all of whom understand, through years of practicing the Tools and Arts, how to feel every drop of what they feel, know how to move deep emotions through their bodies, and express their deep and wide emotional range.
And we brought it and danced it and felt it and expressed it.
I continued to do this for the next few days.
Finding my way to connect with how all of this outer change impacted and transformed me – and opened doors inside of me.
I realized that this was my call to rise to a deeper sense of sisterhood and community than I had ever risen to before.
I did not back away from my grief, my fear, my rage; instead, I felt it, embodied it, wore it like a jeweled crown.
Feeling every aspect of what was mine to feel opened the doors for my leadership to expand to new heights and depths.
And I noticed that this impulse to run away and hide was not just my storyline.
It was also the storyline of so many women who attended the event.
And perhaps, it was the storyline of so many women who signed up but did not even attend. We had more “no shows” than any event we’ve ever hosted – and I can only imagine that it’s because many, like me, just wanted to stay under the covers. I get it.
See, we as women were never taught how to process our intense feelings, so we stay out of the game and hide, or keep it to ourselves.
And as a result, we often never step into our power or potential.
Well, we don’t have time to stay under the covers anymore. The future of the world depends on women showing up and standing for the truth of the way they feel.
Thank goddess I did not have the option this time, to stay under those covers.
And I was besotted with love for the courage of the women who attended.
There were several women who stood to speak and announced themselves as ‘runners’.
Saying things like, “I was at your event last year and I ran away, which made me know there was something valuable here. So I came back this year, and I am still scared, but I am here.”
Or the woman who stood up, just before lunch break and said, “I want to run away and not come back after lunch, so I am calling myself out, because I want someone to stand for me so that I don’t leave, because I know that I need this but I am so frightened.”
What we all learned, this weekend, was that the impulse to run, to hide, to stay under the covers, is something that we all share.
For example, this impulse to run can happen in an intimate relationship. So many of us have been in this spot – when it’s just getting deep, we get triggered and we just want to run, shut it down, cancel the date, and blow off the opportunity of letting someone ‘in’. Running seems like the more familiar option, even if the love we long for is on the other side of that impulse to dash out the door.
Or when we recognize that a deeply unconscious family pattern is coming to light and we just want to run, eat, drink, check out. Checking out is so much easier.
Perhaps a confrontation is necessary with a coworker, where you need to stand in your value and speak your truth, but you just want to clock out and push it under the rug and keep your thoughts to yourself.
Or do you?
Noticing the impulse to run away is not where a woman’s storyline ends, but, rather, it is where it truly begins.
Women are the greatest untapped natural resource on this planet.
This is not a time to run away and hide our radiant light. It is not a time to keep a lid on our truth. It is a time to give ourselves permission to step into a new, never-yet-experienced sense of our power, presence and beauty.
You. Raw, steaming, hot, emotional you is the precise ingredient that the world requires to step into itself.
No matter who you voted for. No matter where you live. No matter how much fear or courage is in your heart. We are all sisters.
Now, more than ever, the voice of woman is required.
Stepping into our voice and our power is useless without the ability to own our emotional truth with love—not only for ourselves but for all women.
We no longer need to back away or run away from our grief, our fear, our rage. Together, we can each feel it, embody it and wear it like a jeweled crown.
And like our lady of the harbor, we all can ‘lift the lamp beside the golden door’ for every woman.
So let me ask you:
- Where are you afraid to look at your raw, truer-than-true truth?
- Where do you want to look away, run away, or go under cover?
- And, where are you committing to stay? To stay in the arena. To stay in the room. To stay in the sadness. To stay in the resolve.
Come leave a comment below and join the conversation.