Sometimes it’s just a huge accomplishment to get where you just got to.
Like, if you haven’t worked in a while and then you land a way big gig, there is a huge fat sigh of release.
This sense of relief and accomplishment when you hit a big goal, is huge. And not to be underestimated in any way, shape, or form.
Damn girl, you did it, you got there, you made it.
That is huge.
And yet . . .
I have noticed something about the nature of woman, in these many years of teaching women’s empowerment to thousands upon thousands of women of every age, shape, size, and background.
Getting there is never ever enough for a woman.
Getting there bores her after a while. She feels lifeless. And kind of dead. And utterly disempowered.
Which is not what she expected. She expected to feel . . . complete.
The problem is, most of us do not totally understand what it means to be complete.
Most women don’t get that completeness is waaaaay different for the feminine than it is for the masculine.
So, it begs the question.
What does a woman need?
What does she want?
What feeds her exuberance?
Freedom. Creativity. Heart.
A sense of aliveness. Connection. Community.
She needs to be able to pour her life-giving essence into whatever she is doing.
She needs to feel seen, valued, witnessed.
Her life force, her erotic power, her inner fire – must be expressed, or she will ever-so-slowly wither and die.
And I know you know women like that. Women who seem to have it all, but their inner emptiness is not just depleting them, but isolating them from their truth, parching their soul and drying up their life force.
You can tell by that forced sad smile that tries to protect you from her loneliness.
And how she doesn’t let you in.
Because she feels so wrong that everything she wanted – and got – isn’t leading her to aliveness. But rather, the opposite.
She has unwillingly set up shop and now manufactures deadness in her life, every single day, under the cover of success.
The cost of aliveness, for a woman, can sometimes seem too high.
We are afraid to upset the apple cart. So we just quietly rearrange and polish the existing apples.
What does it take to shake her soul awake?
To have her live the full throttle enthusiasm she was born with?
Which is an item that has been left off a woman’s ‘to-do’ list for centuries:
We have been told to do everything and anything, but not turn on.
We have been told that when we dip into that well, we are setting our bar too low, that we are rubbing elbows with the worst of the feminine – the whores, the hellcats, the harlots.
That if and when we turn on, we will turn everyone off.
That the only righteous place for the expression of that side of our truth, is in bed with our husband.
But the truth of that turned-on side of a woman’s power is very simple: it’s everything.
It’s the way you love your children.
It is the way you pray.
The way you lift the coffee cup to your lips knowing that your beauty is eternal and all who gaze upon you are forever enhanced.
It’s the aliveness in the way you love.
The way your truth rests lightly and lovingly at the tip of your tongue, sometimes gentle, sometimes harsh like a cat’s tongue.
Turn on is our teacher.
It teaches us our infiniteness, it teaches us to reach past what other people consider our maximum potential and create limitlessness for ourselves and others.
Turn on is you, glorious. You, outrageous. You, unstoppable.
Healing and fixing are yesterday’s games.
We are women who want and need oh so much more.
We are women who want to grab life with both hands, to create the lives we want and deserve.
To splash our paint everywhere on the canvas, and roll around in it.
We want sex that breaks us open to god– sweaty, quenching, drenching, soul-filled sex that leaves us simultaneously hungry and filled.
We want to live every single one of our passions with style and precision, loud and proud.
We want to turn every no into a yes.
And turn every yes into even more than we could have imagined for ourselves.
Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts
Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.