We all have times of intense transition. Times of our lives when we have to seriously step up, step down, step aside, step back, or step ahead. Not simple stuff!
How many times have you stayed too long in a relationship that was never going to work out? Or, conversely, how many times have you quit something or someone before you ever even gave it a real chance? When something or someone looks really, really good ‘on paper’ – how do you give it up, especially when you don’t know what might be next?
This all boils down to one question: how do I trust myself, my inner knowing? How do I trust Pussy? (Especially when she doesn’t exactly seem to make ‘sense’.)
There is a war going on inside of every woman. The war between our egos and our intuition.
Inner combat zones make a girl weary.
Our egos want us to do the ‘right’ thing.
But what is the right thing?
Too often, it is the thing that other people approve of, or other people expect of us. It can be a way in which they have been taught to compromise or play it safe. For example, going to college. Getting a job. Getting married. Meanwhile, your truth, your pussy, may have something else in mind.
When women follow the grooves in the tracks that other people have cut, with other people’s expectations in mind, life gets very dull, very restrictive, very depressing.
When a woman stays too long in a situation that no longer serves her, life starts to oppress her, rather than delight and inspire her.
This year, I made the decision to end Mastery in its current form.
For the past 21 years, Womanly Arts Mastery; my flagship program and the core curriculum I live, breathe, and teach live in New York City; has basically been my Sistine Chapel, my chef d’oeuvre, my vehicle for serving the world — and one of the greatest loves of my life. Mastery has built an incredible team that I have the privilege of working, inventing, and creating with, on the daily. Mastery has built a glorious community of hundreds of women, who volunteer for our events, and co-conspire with me. Mastery has birthed sisterhood on a global scale. Mastery has put delicious food on my table and a fabulous roof over the head of my daughter and myself. Mastery has shaped our collective landscape as women. She has been magical, alchemical, volcanic. Cell-changingly radioactive. And everyone who touched her, in even the most fleeting way, has been forever transformed.
And that magnificent B––tch poured out of my pussy.
Which is so awesome. And so humbling.
I got to free many thousands of pussies.
Got to teach dismantling the patriarchy from the inside, out.
Got to commune, caper, cavort.
And use every drop of my talents.
And last summer I got a major download to…stop.
How can I STOP?
Mastery has been my everything. And then some.
The answer was trusting my pussy — the same intuitive voice that took me down the road of inventing Mastery in the first place. So I’m familiar with listening to her when she speaks. It’s not always a direct order. It’s sometimes a whisper. A tug. And I am used to her wanting me to do things I do not know how to do.
I promise you, I did not know how to start “The Pleasure Revolution.”
I promise you, I had no idea HOW to create a constantly evolving program that delivered the greatest educational system that exists, for womankind.
I promise you I was clueless as to how to run a business, much less meet the extreme demands of a multimillion dollar company, selling pleasure and Pussy in a deeply misogynistic, xenophobic, and racist world.
It has been a wild, wonderful, exquisitely beautiful, and demanding adventure.
It has made me the woman I am.
And many other women, besides me.
I am full up with pride and glory.
And now…the same pussy that called Mastery forth wants me to let this all go?
Oh, just sink me in an ocean of tears.
How do you say goodbye to what is, especially when you have no idea what could possibly be better?
Here is how we do: Slowly. Feeling everything. Through your body, not your head. Moving it through. Screaming, crying, dancing, stomping, singing, and coming. Yes, coming.
What holds a woman in place — in a place that does not serve her, in a place that does not let her grow, in a place that crimps her imagination and stifles her desires — is a lack of embodiment and a lack of orgasm.
When you are disconnected from your body and your ecstasy, you cannot see over the fences that you are trapped behind.
And most of us are schooled and trained to live inside the structures that no longer serve us. We get scared at the thought of breaking out, because we do not live lives that are continually sourced by the truth of our own bodies and our own orgasm.
The adventure of choosing to live your desires — in business, partnership, pleasure, and beyond — is an adventure like no other. Throwing your saddle astride the unknown and galloping in the direction of dreams that nobody sees but you, is a truly magnificent way to live. And when you plot your course, and choose that kind of direction — holding hands with the goddess as you gallop apace — you have to be just as ready for the truth of when it is time to end, as you were when you began.
You do not get spared the intense emotional vicissitudes. Life, death, and everything in between are even more intense for those that feel deeply.
Incredible lows and incredible highs are what you have signed up for. So there is no avoiding endings. The end is just the opportunity for a woman to give herself proper preparation to embody and experience every drop of who she is, where she is, and what she is, before she moves on.
So when that inner pussy whisper/shout comes to you and says ‘leave this relationship’ or ‘give notice at this job’ or ‘write that book’ — you won’t have to sink into fear and spend your time wondering why and how you got so trapped. You won’t be left questioning your internal road map to ‘rightness’ – to a full yes, or a hard no. Rather, you will put on your best, hottest playlist, move your body, feel your feels, reach for pleasure, find your orgasm, and trust your Pussy to lead you forward in a bigger, better, more you way.
Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts
Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.