Perfect on the outside, dying on the inside

Darling,

It was just another cold December morning.  I woke up, got the kid on the bus, went to spin class, showered, dressed.
I settled in with a gigantic cup of English breakfast tea, in my God Save the Queen mug, to catch up with my emails before the office opened.  In my inbox, I received the most inspiring story from a woman who had written to me at 2 a.m. that morning.

I get gorgeous acknowledgments now and then from my grads, and I do not normally share them here.  I tuck them away in a special box.  But this email was too good to keep to myself.  It was inspiring in every way a woman wants to be inspired.  And I recommend that before you read it, you do what I did: make yourself a gigantic cup of tea in your version of a God Save the Queen Mug, print this story out, and sit down and enjoy the new 2013 fairy tale of a woman getting hers, creating hers, enjoying hers, exactly the way she wants.

Dearest Mama,
As I lie awake at 2 a.m. this morning unable to sleep, I am overcome with tears of gratitude. I had to drop you a line.  Today my life has changed in so many ways.  I could only have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be living the life I do today.  Since first meeting you and the women at the School of Womanly Arts almost 4 years ago during Spring Mastery 2009, the changes in my life have been nothing short of a miracle. 

Rewind to March, 2009.  I was 25.  I had just opened my own insurance business nine months prior.  I was married a little over two years.  I lived in a beautiful home, in a beautiful neighborhood. I had a little six-pound, white Maltese dog named Momo.  I wore a size 6.  Based on all external appearances and by many accounts I was living a wonderful life.  Up to this point, I had done what I thought was right and what I should do based on someone else’s ideal.  I went to college, got married, got a dog, bought a house, and found work that I enjoyed.  Next step, have a baby, right?  I was supposed to be happy, right?  Living the American Dream, right?  Not so much… 

The truth is, I was living someone’s else’s life—not mine!  The odd part is that I didn’t know whose life it was.  I was dying on the inside, and I didn’t even know why.  I was under major pressure and stress 24/7 to perform to someone else’s standards in my insurance business.  In less than two years, my marriage had quickly become an uninspired and unfilled roommate situation.  “Pleasure” – that was not a word in my vocabulary.  I was working just to earn a paycheck and living just to get to the next day.  Simply put – I was exhausted, frustrated, tired, dried up, sad, unhappy, alone, and I was only 25.  The thing is, no one on the outside would have known.  I pasted on a smile, used that positive attitude I had adopted for years, and kept drudging forward in my own silent abyss.

I’ve learned in the years since that timing and life’s simple perfections have a funny way of showing you what you need to know at exactly the time you need to know it.

I had an angel in the form of a real-life woman walk into my life and forever change it one Tuesday morning in the winter of 2008.  She recognized that deep-down, unsettled “something” that no one else had seen.  She knew the empty hollowness that creeps into your soul when you’re not living the life you were intended to live.  She knew that I had potential and I hadn’t even begun to tap into it.   I had never heard of you, Mama Gena, the School of Womanly Arts, Mastery, or the Pleasure Revolution.  But, one week later I was on a train heading to New York City, sitting in your classroom with more than 200 women from around the country.  (This is your job—you get to be that angel!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

To say that Mastery, the School of Womanly Arts, and the Sister Goddess community changed my life is a major understatement.  In less than six months after starting Mastery, I had changed the course of my life forever.  I had found the courage to end the lifeless marriage.  I moved into a small beach cottage on the water that was so much more me. My business sky-rocketed and has continued to since then.  And, I met the man of my dreams who would later become my husband.

The experience of Mastery is in short the only place I have found on this planet where a woman has the complete authentic ability to become the woman she was born to be.  The tools I learned have become a cornerstone to everything I do in my life.  The friendships forged and the bonds made extend deeper than this lifetime.  My life today is more meaningful, more inspired, and more harmonious than I ever thought possible.

I brag that I married that man of my dreams on November 11, 2012, in the beautiful, tropical island of St. John in the USVI.  I brag that I just found out several weeks ago that we are expecting our first baby in August 2013.  I brag I am currently ranked in the Top 5% of agents nationally among 18,000.  I brag that I have opened my young women’s mentorship organization called “The Women’s Institute of Leadership” where being a girl, making a difference, and changing the world is who we are. 

And mostly I brag that I know who I am – at the very core and in the deepest parts.  I know what it means to dance with myself – to reach into the deepest and darkest places of my Soul and allow that beautiful little girl inside me to shine.  I have the self-confidence to make choices on my own terms and in my own way.  I have MY LIFE back – written and lived EXACTLY the way that I CREATE it.  My deepest, most heartfelt desire now is allowing my Soul to do her work on this planet…to inspire and serve others to live their Soul’s Purpose.

I’m eternally grateful that you chose to listen to your Soul’s Purpose so many years ago.  If not for you, I wouldn’t be in this place I am today.  It’s women like us that are changing the world! 

Sending you so much love, happiness, and gratitude this holiday season, Mama Gena!

Hugs and Kisses…
Erin Ross

Unbelievable, right?  We live in a world where women can have it all, can get everything we want, no compromise, once we learn the Womanly Arts and Tools.  If you think you can handle more brags like hers, check out these brand new videos featuring the stories of some of our Mastery Graduates.

In the comments below, let me know what Erin’s story inspired in you. And if you want to know what she’s talking about firsthand, join me in NYC on January 26th for our live Intro Day, I know you want me. You will leave this event with the specific tools that enable you to live as the attraction point for everything you desire.

And if you’d like to show another woman living proof that she’s capable of having everything she wants and more, please share this post.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. Sister Goddesses have been having a field day with our latest video series, Someone Who Loves You. Check it out if you want to spread the love…

P.P.S.  I take mine with a splash of milk and a teaspoon of honey.  How do you take yours? 🙂

EXPLORE THESE AREAS:

Mama Gena’s

Five-day Self-love
Mini-course

A free journey to awakening your most confident, radiant self.

Take the School of Womanly Arts free Five-day Self-love Mini-course and learn 5 specific daily practices you can use (and Mama Gena uses herself) to shift the reality of your everyday life … even with a demanding career, while raising kids, or when you’re incredibly busy.

UP