From rupture to rapture

Darling,

This is it.
This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since the conception of the Creation Course last year.

Paris.

In just 48 hours we will all be converging at the Warwick Hotel on the Champs Elysees, as we begin our total immersion in the city that was, and is, the engraved invitation that called the Courtesan into existence.

As we’ve been sharing about the upcoming trip, I’ve had people ask me, exactly what IS the Courtesan’s Journey? And what had me build an entire program around it?

Have you ever felt that the Hero’s Journey, the monomyth for how “man does life,” just does not quite fit the woman that you are?  The Courtesan’s Journey is the antidote, the custom-designed monomyth for the feminine, designed to give a woman navigational certainty as she charts her course through every phase of the adventure of life, designed by her desires.  The Courtesan’s Journey is where the human and the divine within take hands and re-create us into the women we were born to become.

I first introduce this to my students in the Mastery classroom. But the deep integration of the Courtesan’s Journey occurs in the Creation Course.  Each participant learns how to steer the passage of her life—no matter how turbulent—with passion and power, during every episode of her unfolding as a woman.  This allows her to roll gracefully through the rupture, reclamation, redemption, and rapture that encompass each chapter of a life well lived.

When a woman learns this construct, she is then empowered (rather than victimized) by challenging circumstances—and uses these events as part of her reclamation as a woman. And not only does she go higher, but she takes everyone around her higher.

Let me give you a real-life example.  I bring you the deliciously improbable story of Sister Goddess Jane.  When she crossed the doorstep of the School of Womanly Arts at age 71, she was in the midst of a rupture in her marriage, and so began her courtesan’s journey…

I am about to embark on the Creation Course trip to Paris, walking the paths of the great Courtesans, after which I’ll be heading to Dordogne, a southern region of France for ten days with my husband, Bob. I am so grateful for the life I’m living.

At age 77, I’ve never felt more happy, beautiful, sexy and sensual, or deeply connected to my husband than I do right now. Yes. 77! At a time of life when most women of my generation have retired their sensuality, and are focused on stability, routine, and safety, I’ve chosen to investigate what turns me on and lights me up.

I took Mastery in 2007, and then was in Inner Circle for 2 ½ years. After a two-year “time out” to digest and experiment with all that I learned, I said “yes” to the Creation Course, with Bob’s full support and encouragement. He knew as I did that the School of Womanly Arts would continue to take us both higher.

But let me tell you, IT WASN’T ALWAYS THIS WAY! FAR FROM IT!

When I arrived at the SWA back in 2007, I had one question I wanted answered: “Should I stay in this marriage?” Not the marriage I refer to above. Oh, no. The marriage I was questioning had been built around my focus on my husband’s problems, 19 years of them. Being a family counselor, I believed that if I could help him with his problems, we could return to the love and connection we’d experienced in the first few years of our relationship. But it wasn’t working, and I knew things had to change. We were overcome, overrun, overtaken by depression and hopelessness, with no way out.

It finally all came to a screeching halt after the untimely death of Bob’s son. The funeral was over, there was nothing left to be done. I was exhausted and depleted.  I did not know what to do next.  But I knew something had to change.

I found the SWA through a woman I met at a retreat. There was something different about her that I was drawn to.  I don’t know, maybe it was because she exuded a quiet power and wore pretty dresses while the rest of us were in jeans, less into feeling beautiful.  At the end of the retreat she approached me with a nicely wrapped gift, saying: “This is a bit over the top, but I think you will like it.” It was Regena’s first book, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. That book sat on my nightstand for about six months—I think I was just too afraid to open it. But when I finally did I thought, “YES! YES!”

Regena asked a question that hit me between the eyes: WHO AM I AS A WOMAN?  It was a question I’d never considered. I knew who I was as a wife, a mom, a daughter, a community member, but who am I as a woman? And how do I create my own pleasure? Totally foreign territory!

That question led me into Mastery, which was phenomenal. The tools, the community, the fun, the focus on pleasure, beauty and sensuality was life altering. Regena told me to take my concern about my marriage off the table for one year, and to focus on myself and my pleasure. I did. I threw myself into the practices: bragging, spring cleaning, swamping, desire lists, womantras. I focused on generating more pleasure for me, invited Bob into it, and surprisingly, he kept joining me.

Soon after, I was ready to focus on my sensuality, which Regena teaches is the source of our pleasure. While Bob had willingly engaged with me in other enjoyable activities, he was resistant to sensual training. I stood for the importance of that desire for myself and our relationship, and while hesitant, he agreed. Through time we worked with several practitioners, yet it was a slow process. We’d begin a practice, incorporate it, and then he’d stop. But at each turn, the transparency of my desire eventually inspired him, and we would move on to the next step together. Since I have been in the Creation Course, continuing to deepen my own sensual pleasure, Bob is experiencing our sensual time more as his gift for himself as well as for me.  And now he is very motivated! Regena is correct, men really want to serve women!

I know that a big reason for the shift in our marriage is that I have included Bob in every step of the way. As I investigated my pleasure, I communicated what was going on with me. I shared what I learned, shared my experiences with him, what it was calling forth in me, and what I wanted.  I also asked him to generate pleasure as I was doing. Rather than the SWA being my trip—which could be felt as a split off from him—I used it to bring him along in his own pleasure as well as mine. I believe that is why he enthusiastically supported me in taking the Creation Course.

The Sister Goddess community has been crucial in my Courtesan Journey in Mastery, Inner Circle and the Creation Course. Whether through sharing their experiences and resources, or encouraging me through my fears and resistance, Sister Goddesses are always at my back. They continue to help me immensely! If I had been on my own, I don’t believe I could ever have made these changes. I knew it was safe to share myself with these women! All of it, my ups and downs—even when I wanted to hide from embarrassment as my relationship would move forward, then backward, idyllic one week, hell another. My Sisters are there to reflect to me my progress, remind me of who I am and what I can create, and cheer me on through the lows. They are my champions and stand for my pleasure and my desires.

I initially came into the Creation Course because I admired how Regena created in the world. She accomplishes what she wants to get done and I wanted to learn how to do that. There’s a book I’d been in the process of writing for years, and so I decided that this would be what I’d create. But I found myself resisting. Start, stop, start. Start, stop, start. I was frustrated and decided to be transparent about my writing with Regena during one of our Creation Course Q&A calls. What she told me changed everything. She asked me to look into my true appetite and see where it takes me. She explained that the culture values production, but that when appetite fuels what we create, it makes us feel happy and fulfilled. This distinction has had a huge impact on how I am now using my creative energy. I get to put it where it makes me happy.

I stopped torturing myself with trying to write and listened to myself, for the first time in my life. When I did that, it took me right back to my marriage—to making it the most joyful, sensual, deeply connected relationship that I ever had. Following my appetite has quieted a noisy inner driver that always demanded that I have a big project to focus on in my personal or professional life, contributing to the world. No matter what I accomplished, I was onto the next undertaking.

With this shift, I spent the most glorious three months in Arizona this past winter. Instead of sitting at my computer, I spent my days in the sublime sunshine, playing, hiking, exploring the gorgeous Southwest. It felt delicious to have fun on my own and with Bob, and it brought us into a whole new sensual practice.  

Sensuality and pleasure have become the foundations of my life. So much so that recently while bidding on a home we found after months of searching, concerned about the cost and that we’d lose it, Bob looked at me and said, “Do you want to have a sensual encounter?” We both roared with laughter. And it totally got our minds off of the house, into our bodies, connected and happy! And we’re now in the process of closing on that very property. 

So I’m off to Paris, excited and nervous, and in deep gratitude for my Courtesan’s Journey and time in the SWA. I have designed an incredible life as a result of my conscious focus on pleasure. Clearly, my life is and will be about it, no matter what age I am. I wonder where this appetite of mine will take me next. Perhaps to write a book, or not… Stay tuned!

SG Jane

Jane will go down in the School of Womanly Arts history as one of the greatest Courtesans of all time.  It was the pain of this unfulfilling marriage that was the impetus for this GORGEOUS and inspiring reclamation.  We women generally fear our own pain.  The Courtesan’s Journey allows a woman to re-create her relationship to rupture, such that she knows it is an invitation from the Divine to re-create and remake herself.

Because whether it’s an unhappy marriage, a layoff, a life-threatening illness, or financial challenges. Whether it’s the loss of a job, a loved one or your faith in life, everything is an opportunity for living the legend you were born to become. With the practice of the Womanly Arts and Tools and the Sister Goddess community to lean into at every turn, your access to ecstasy is assured.

I want to know, where are you on your Courtesan’s Journey? Are you lost?  Or found?  Does Jane’s story connect you to a place of possibility?  How have you used rupture to your advantage? Leave your comments below…

And if you want to help another woman who needs a little rapture, please share this post.

With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena

P.S. If you’re a graduate of Mastery and are ready to recreate your relationship to rupture, click here to check out the schedule for the next Creation Course.

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