I’ve been doing some celebrating this week.
It’s not all I’ve been doing but it’s what I want to tell you about first.
It’s nice to warm things up with a hot brag.
My beloved bestseller, Pussy: A Reclamation, came out in paperback and it’s gorgeous!
And on the very first day, you made it one of the #1 new releases on Amazon!
And so many of you have honored it with kind reviews.
And so many of you have written to tell me you’ve gifted copies to friends.
I love that this gift I wanted to offer to the world, this RECLAMATION OF THE VERY WORD, is something you are giving to those you love, those you want to see reclaim themselves too.
Women are beautiful.
When we learn, we teach.
We create movements.
And I feel it. I feel this movement we are in.
It is challenging.
It is challenging to be a woman in this culture.
But we are still whole.
And one by one, like stars in a dark sky, together,
We are lighting up.
Forming constellations of beauty.
Pleasing the Great Pussy in the Sky.
And I told you there would be more.
As much as I am being conscious to celebrate the magic and pleasure around the book I’m so proud to have written, this has also been a stressful week.
A difficult week.
You’ve probably had weeks like these too, where the deadlines and requests and to-do’s aren’t themselves problems — but added up? they’re a heavy weight.
There’s no single Crisis with a capital C, just a regular amount of too muchness.
And — I’m not one to go on about moon phases, but was anyone else knocked out by that last full blue moon? Half the women I know aren’t sleeping. And are crying for reasons they don’t know.
It’s not strange.
Women, we feel things.
We feel everything.
And, you know, even celebrations ask a lot of us.
So, I found myself getting a little … disconnected.
I needed a tune-up, a pussy recalibration.
Regena had to take some Mama Gena advice herself.
Even though I didn’t really want to.
(Because when you’re feeling full you just kinda lose your motivation.)
Here’s the advice I followed:
Move your body (and if you can’t move your body, imagine your spirit moving). Dance. Jump. Roll. Crawl. Stretch. Stomp. Air-kick. Twirl. Do it to angry music or joyous music or silence. Let whatever is in you, move through you. Your feelings will shift.
2. Tell someone.
We’ve been trained to isolate when the face we have to present isn’t cheerful and pleasant. But that’s the patriarchy. What’s true is that we feel closest to others when they’re willing to be vulnerable with us, real with us. When they bring us their glory and their pain. Give someone worthy the great honor of your trust and tell them what sucks in your life right now. Even if it’s not a biggie. Even if it is.
3. Hang with your shadow.
Sisters, your dark side is sexy. It’s rich and wild and alive. It’s good and right. Welcome your shadow. Embrace her. Party with her. Sit right down in those darkest, saddest, angriest, grittiest, most “bad” feelings and … feel them. Allow them. Celebrate them. Do slow, rhythmic hip circles with them. Do not shame them. Do not push them away. Do not belittle them. With practice, you may even grow to love them.
So that’s what I did. And I took in all the celebration and all the non-celebration, shook it around, made a little love to it, and I got back to center again. Give it a go?
p.s. If you’re reading Pussy in paperback, would you, um, show it to me? I’d love to see a selfie with your copy of the book on Instagram. Tag me @mamagena and use hashtags #amreading #paperbackpussy so I can blow you kisses.
Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.