Are you living a life that feels like yours?
Is it an expression of what you value?
Of what you love?
Of who you are?
Or … not quite sure?
Because you’re too busy surviving.
And being responsible.
And just getting through.
To pay mind to what you want.
And who you are.
Beyond worker or mother or girlfriend or boss or any of the other labels we stick across our chests.
Over our hearts.
That identify our value to others, our service to others, our identity as it relates to others.
It’s a cultural affliction, women living lives that aren’t really our own (but look like they might be).
You see, women are trained to fold on our desires.
And there are three specific ways we do it:
1. We don’t know what we want.
2. If we know what we want, we don’t believe we can have it because it feels too big.
3. When we get it, we can’t receive it.
Sisters, do you know where this folding on our desires leaves us? STUCK AS F*CK.
Stuck as f*ck feels like:
And just generally a dull-quiet secret feeling of This isn’t the life I’m supposed to be living.
Stuck women can be highly productive. They can be generous and successful. They can be Employee of the Month and Mother of the Year. And, inside, they know what others do not see … there is a void.
When you are stuck, you function as a shell.
We all know how to polish our exteriors. Ask any woman, she’ll tell you how easy it is to fake it. And “exterior maintenance” can keep us busy so we don’t have to look at the emptiness inside, the disappointments.
But we can’t fake it with ourselves.
Feeling stuck takes its toll.
And the price always has to be paid … eventually.
In failed relationships, in illness, in depression …
So, how do we get unstuck?
1. We figure out what we want.
2. We decide we can have it.
3. And when it comes, we accept.
Unless you live in a culture that fears and suppresses the feminine in general, and feminine desire in particular.
Which you do.
Which is why you might not know what you want or believe you can have it or accept it when it comes your way.
Your stuckness isn’t a sign of your failure; it’s evidence of a patriarchal system working precisely as designed.
And this system? Sisters, I’m here to tell you it can be hacked.
The feminine thrives in community.
In the absence of a supportive culture, nurture community. (Sisterhood will save us all.)
It is very, very difficult to know what we want, believe we can have it, and accept it — by ourselves. It’s like quitting drinking in a bar. But if we surround ourselves with others upholding our desires and their own, though, new things become possible. A new world becomes possible.
I want you to try something.
Ask a friend to send you a list of wishes, everything she desires. Tell her to make it long — from the most simple to the most audacious, outrageous. You won’t share it with anyone. You won’t hold her to it. It’s just for fun.
And when you read it, especially the big desires — the book she wants to write, the revolution she wants to start — I want you to ask yourself if it feels like too much. Can you see this for her? Do you want all of this for her? Do you believe she can have it?
I suspect not only will you believe she can have it, you will probably even begin plotting how you could help her to have it.
Something beautiful happens when we’re exposed to other feminine desires: we see how possible they are.
And your friend? She would see exactly how possible your desires are.
Now, imagine adding the energy of another believer to your duet. And another. And another. This is the heart of Womanly Arts Mastery — inner work done in a guided, nurturing, empowering community — but you could create a desire-supportive community wherever you are. Find four women. Or three. Or thirty. And support each other. Celebrate when they get what they want. And watch what happens. Desires get fulfilled is what happens. And life gets bigger.
Desire big, sisters — for yourselves, for each other!
Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts
Regena is an academic of pleasure, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, a feminist icon, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.
MASTERY 2018 BEGINS NEXT MONTH
Spots are limited.
The School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program — Regena’s signature, internationally-renowned work offered only once a year — begins this March, and registration is open. Mastery was created over 20 years ago, to be a road map for women to get unstuck, turned on, and thriving inside a deeply supportive community. It is an immersive, experiential course unlike anything else in the world, with a combination of live intensives in New York City with Regena — Mama Gena herself — and ongoing support structures in-between. Women come from around the globe to join the movement and change their lives. Women from South Africa, Peru, New Zealand, Canada, and UK have already registered – Are you thinking of joining them?
If you’re inspired, or intrigued, or this awakens something inside you – book an exploratory call with our team (Stacy, Lilly, or Lauren are ready for you) to ask questions and see if 2018 feels like your year for Mastery.