Ditch your resolutions for the Discipline of Yearning

You may or may not know this yet, but one of the reasons you joined this community is that you wanted to get really, really good at the Art of Yearning.

Yearning is a way for a woman to spend her life in connection with Spirit.

As we sink into this fresh New Year, many of us are thinking about what to make of 2015 — what we want to accomplish, discover, create, become.

This season, women everywhere are fiercely scribbling their resolutions and trying to muster the willpower to stay on track. (And we all know how that usually works out . . .)

Today, I want to recommend a new kind of discipline.
A feminine approach to committing to what we desire in the year ahead.
A devotion to the Art of Yearning.

As I have often described, your desires are an interface between you, and that which is greater than you.

The Art of Yearning is really about creating the perfect loving, gracious, generous, gratitudinous relationship between you and your higher power. It is this connection which allows the divine to shower her extreme generosity in your direction.

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The word yearning has taken a beating over the centuries.
The Germanic root of the word gern means ‘gladly, or willingly,’ derived from the Proto-Indo-European (PIE) word gher, meaning ‘to like, want.’

That means that thousands of years ago, when women yearned, it was a wonderful experience.

Yearning came from a place of perfect spiritual alignment and attunement, where woman and her divinity were batting for the same team, where she knew her desires would be met, and her longing was a beautiful extension of her spiritual life.

She was filled with warmth and compassion as she yearned.
She had no doubt that what she longed for was on its way to her, under grace and in perfect ways.

And now? 5,000 years later?
Yikes. Yuch. Double oy, double vey.
Now, the word has splintered apart and morphed to indicate loss, separation, and sadness. When we think of the word ‘yearn’ now, it’s often associated with an intense longing for something that one has lost or been separated from — “to long persistently, wistfully, or sadly,” according to Merriam Webster.

This shift is a natural consequence of being marinated for a few thousand years in the patriarchal point of view.
When we devalue the feminine, we devalue desire. Why? Because desire, or yearning, takes the masculine off his viewpoint and sails him headlong into change or, at the very least, a perspective beyond his own ego, where the strength of his will might not dominate.
All of this is extremely threatening to the patriarchy. But not according to the divine feminine, which is much more inclusive to all points of view.

So, what does all this have to do with you – and your yearning?
And your desire?
Everything.

As women, we have largely lost touch with the Art of Yearning, and the discipline to practice it.

See, when a woman begins to risk yearning for something, she immediately goes to a feeling of loss or lack. Instead of gladness.
This not so subtle shift alters her ability to conjure what it is that she desires.
Why? Because loss conjures loss.
It is only gladness that conjures gladness.

I know it feels like such a huge, insurmountable step, when you are steeped in the life-sucking formaldehyde of the “stuck,” to crank up your own happiness, joy, and radiance. From that spot, your radiance seems like the she-devil, as it lives on the opposite side of the world as you know it. And the devil you know seems so lovely and safe in its predictable living death, no matter how much it fails to deliver you what you really want.

So, my darlings, you have come here to thrust yourselves into a whole new orbit, in order to recreate your reality into a life you want, with all the love you deserve, the joy you long for, the intimacy you crave, and the success that wants to land in your lap.

And it all starts with the Art of Yearning. This year, I challenge you to practice this discipline at a new level.

I’d love to hear in the comments . . . how are you doing with the Art of Yearning? When you create your desire lists, goals, and resolutions for the year ahead, how much joy can you muster? How much warmth and gladness can you infuse into the act of desire?

xo,

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