Do you know what it feels like to be at the precipice of a huge sea change in your life?
Ever been there? Are you there right now?
If so, then you know, it ain’t always pretty.
It’s so hard to believe in a reality that you have never inhabited, but continually long for. So tempting to give up, throw in the towel, and pretend you give zero f*cks.
But, rising up inside you is something unstoppable, something powerful, and something invisible to everyone else but you…
It’s your desire.
Which often shows up as pain, discomfort, annoyance, or heartache.
Like a tiny fishbone in your throat that just won’t swallow.
In the words of Anais Nin: “There came a day when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Maybe today is that day.
But, the tricky bit is that it’s easy to ignore the signs that change is afoot, and that blooming is imminent. I don’t want you to miss out on a pivotal transition. Because we have to evolve, and move forward, for life to happen.
And so, I want to give you some clues to look out for – 5 signs you’re ready for change.
The period right before fruition can look many different ways. And I hate to break it to you, but discomfort tends to be a common thread.
Here are a few signals I notice a lot, particularly in the lives of women right before they dive head-first into the unknown:
- Everything around you is imploding. Maybe you find out that your best friend betrayed you with your boyfriend. Or you don’t get into any of the graduate programs you applied to. Not one. Or your dad is in the hospital and they can’t figure out what’s wrong with him. Did you know that forest fires are part of nature’s cycle? They are tragic, destructive, devastating. And yet, deeply necessary for the earth to heal and regenerate. If it seems like your whole life is up in flames, it might be time to burn it all down and rebuild.
- You’re more sure than ever that your desire is never gonna happen. You have mounting evidence that you’re failing. And it seems like there’s actual proof that things are not going your way, and probably never will. Remember, everyone who has ever climbed a mountain has very nearly turned back just before reaching the top. Keep going, your desire may be closer than it appears.
- You’ve hit your “choke point.” You might feel choked about where you are in your marriage, your parenting, your job. So much so, that you can’t do anything other than vomit in your mouth about the circumstances of your life. And the worst part is that you’ve used all of your best tools to create the thing you have, which you thought was going to be wonderful. Maybe you got your ass in debt earning a degree so you could work at a job you now hate. Maybe you married the right partner. And had the right babies. But it’s just not flying, and it’s making you choke from the fumes.
- You smell what you want, on someone else. There’s something in the fragrance of another woman that tells you, “she knows sh*t I don’t know”. And it doesn’t even mean that what you have is wrong or bad – you can just sense that there is some potential that is yours to step into or unlock. You can feel that she is grooving to the beat of herself in a way that you still have your training wheels on. Your attention is captured. Sometimes this is not a great experience. It could show up as jealousy, or judgment. Other times, it’s just full throttle salivating excitement for what could be.
- You feel a deep, moving PULL towards something or someone new. You have that feeling that happens when you encounter unfamiliar territory and you just know, deep down, that it is already yours to claim. That you have a preverbal need to move towards it. Last week, there was a woman who called the School, randomly, and said, “I am not a crier. I am not easily moved to tears. And I just keep crying at every graduate video on your site. What is going on?” Do not ignore the wisdom of your emotional self, your intuitive self. Do not override her. She will never lead you astray.
I should mention, there are also some signs that you’re definitely NOT ready for change, for example:
• You hate the smell of change in another, and you’re scared of the flow you see in their lives. You are in love with your stuckness and defending your turf. Like a 4-year-old who refuses to give up her security blanket, even for an hour in the laundry.
• You continually look for evidence of why things can never change for you, and you really enjoy sharing those thoughts with other people who will affirm your viewpoint. You only want to hang out with folks who hate change as much as you do.
• You’re numb. You can’t feel anything. You cannot feel pleasure or pain. It’s just a lot of static on your channel and you are too exhausted to get up and dig around the couch for the remote. Especially because nothing really interests you anyway.
It’s good to know which camp you fall into. It’s also good to remember that your current perspective can pivot very quickly, in an instant.
I love intersecting with a woman’s storyline in this particular moment in time, when she is wobbling on the precipice of change. It’s the best time to step into my classrooms and sink into sisterhood.
The work that I do is designed to teach a woman how to live her most deeply-held longings and plant them in the most fertile ground ever created on earth.
And when the time comes for that bud to push its scared little petals into bloom, she is equipped with the tools, technology, and sisterhood to make it so.
Once she has that, a woman does not have to run after her desires. Nope. Nada. They just come crashing through her front door without knocking.
I want that for you.
I want you to feel so held, so loved, so accomplished, so supported, so gotten.
I want to be by your side when you take the biggest risks of your life, on behalf of your deepest longings.
So, hit reply and tell me where you’re at right now:
• Do you see yourself in any of the signs above?
• Do you sense that something big and deep is on its way to you? If so, what might it be?
• How do you feel, and how are you going to nurture yourself during this time?
• And, if you’ve been there in the past, how did you navigate that unpredictable moment right before a big shift finally came?
Whether this is a time of change, or hibernation, or suffering, or magic – thank you for being here.
All my love,