Do you know what it feels like at the precipice of a huge sea change in your life? Ever been there? Are you there right now?
If so, then you know, it ain’t always pretty.
It’s so tempting to give up, throw in the towel, and pretend you give zero f*cks.
And so hard to believe in a reality that you have never inhabited, but continually long for.
But, rising up inside you is something huge, something massive, and something invisible to everyone else but you.
It’s your desire.
Which often shows up as pain, discomfort, annoyance, or heartache.
And it won’t leave.
Like a tiny fishbone in your throat that just won’t swallow.
Painful as hell and desperately impossible to ignore.
This is the moment right before “someday” becomes “today – right here, and right now.”
In the words of Anaïs Nin, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Now, the tricky bit is that it’s easy to ignore the signs that change is afoot, and that blooming is imminent. I don’t want you to ignore the signs that your time is now. Because this is the stuff that life is made of.
And so today, I want to give you some clues to look for – 6 signs you’re ready for change.
The period right before fruition can look many different ways. And I hate to break it to you, but the common thread is discomfort of some kind.
Here are a few I notice a lot, particularly in the lives of women right before they make the leap into The Mastery Program.
1 – Everything around you is imploding. Did you know that forest fires are part of nature’s cycle? They are tragic, destructive, devastating. And yet, deeply necessary and regenerative at certain times in the life cycle. You find out that your best friend betrayed you with your boyfriend. You don’t get into any of the graduate programs you applied to. Not one. Your dad is in the hospital and they can’t figure out what’s wrong with him. And of course, they are starting massive layoffs at the job you hate but you don’t feel ready to lose. When it rains, it pours, darling.
2 – You feel more sure than ever that it (your desire) is never gonna happen. You have mounting evidence that you’re failing. And it seems like there’s actual proof that things are not going your way, and probably never will. Everyone who has ever climbed a mountain has very nearly turned back just before reaching the top. When you have just broken up with the ‘almost perfect guy or gal,’ there is no way to know that the perfect person for you is just around the next bend.
3 – You’ve hit your “choke point.” You might feel choked about where you are in your marriage, choked about your parenting, choked about the job you can’t imagine going to for even one more unhappy day. You have come to the end of your ability to do anything other than vomit in your mouth about the circumstances of your life. And the worst part is that you’ve used all of your best tools to create the thing you have, which you thought was going to be something wonderful. Maybe you got your ass in debt to get a degree to work at the job you now hate. Maybe you married the right guy. And had the right babies. But it’s just not flying, and it’s making you choke from the fumes.
4 – You smell what you want, on someone else. There’s something in the face of another woman. You see someone who has sourced something that you want. You can just smell it and sense, “she knows shit I don’t know.” And it doesn’t even mean that what you have is wrong or bad – you can just sense that there is some potential that is yours to step into or unlock. You can feel that she is grooving to the beat of herself in a way that you still have your training wheels on. Your attention is captured. Sometimes this is not a great experience – it could show up as jealousy, or judgment. Other times, it’s just full throttle salivating excitement.
5 – You feel a deep, moving PULL towards something or someone new. You have that feeling that happens inside when you encounter something or someone new and you just know, deep deep down, that it is already yours. That you have a preverbal need to move towards it. Last week, there was a woman who called the School, randomly, and talked to Lauren and said, “I am not a crier. I am not easily moved to tears. And I just keep crying at every graduate video on your site. What is going on?” Do not ignore the wisdom of your emotional self, your intuitive self. Do not override her. She will not lead you astray.
6 – You decide, down to your toes, that it’s time. Simple as that, really. There are moments in life where you draw the line in the sand, and where you make a choice from the deepest core of who you are, to do things differently. This kind of decision can’t be forced, and it can’t be faked. When you hit it, you’ll know.
I should mention, there are also some signs that you’re definitely not ready for change for example:
- You hate the smell of change in another, and you’re scared of the flow you see in their lives. You’re scared of what flow might mean to your sense of yourself. You are in love with your stuckness and defending your turf. Like a 4-year-old who refuses to give up her blanky and passy. Even for an hour in the laundry.
- You continually look for evidence of why things can never change for you, and you really enjoy sharing those thoughts with other people who agree with that perspective and viewpoint. You only want to hang out with people who hate change as much as you do.
- You’re numb. You can’t feel anything. You cannot feel pleasure or pain. It’s just a lot of static on your channel and you are too exhausted to get up and dig around the couch for the remote. Especially because nothing really interests you anyway.
It’s good to know which camp you fall into. It’s also good to remember that all of this can change very quickly, in an instant.
I love intersecting with a woman’s storyline in this particular moment in time, when she is wobbling on the precipice of change.
Whether this is a time of change, or hibernation, or suffering, or magic – thank you for being here.
All my love,
Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts
Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.