Are you angry about something?

Let’s talk.

Who is with me on the pissed? There are so many good reasons to be mad.

For me, these days, it’s genocide, racism, misogyny, global warming…just to name a few.

What are you angry about, sister?

Self-serving leaders? The cost of prescription drugs? The electric bill? Your partner who can’t put socks in the hamper? The parents of the kid who’s bullying your kid? Your best friend’s cancer? Aging? All of it?!

There is so much to be furious about. And yet, the culture teaches women to shut down our anger, stifle our rage, and conceal our displeasure at all costs.

We all learned early that it was our job to swallow those big feelings. And without other apparent options, so often, we do.


Because if we got angry, really angry, instead of swallowing it, it might swallow us…right? And then who would be there to pick up groceries, get everyone fed, and log back in late at the office?

You won’t be swallowed, though. You won’t lose yourself in that place.

I know because I’ve been there and back. And back again. In fact, it is my conviction that we as women must use our anger for change. And to learn the tools and technology to move it through so it can take us higher.

This is so central to the way I teach and live.

And the key to using our anger for creative good is choosing to turn on to the feelings, rather than turn off.

When I notice that I’m pissed, I remember that anger without turn-on is like fossil fuel, like coal. It will propel you, but only for so long, and it pollutes the environment and destroys the earth and humankind.

Anger with turn-on is like clean, renewable energy – like solar, wind, and water power. It is needed, and necessary, and good.


Often when we think of “turn-on”, it’s in a sexual sense. And yes, that is one expression of turn-on. But at its heart, turn-on is about feeling fully ALIVE. Real, raw, pulsing, and visceral.

So how do we do this with anger? What does it even mean to have anger with turn-on?

Here’s what I do:

I sit with it and feel like sh*t.

I locate the outrage and fury in my body. Is it in my belly? My throat? The base of my skull?

I give it my full attention. I don’t try to distract myself. Is it prickly? Is it razor sharp? Is it burning like tequila?

I ask what it needs. Often the answer is movement, so I may stomp or dance. Or it could be sound, so I may howl or moan. Sometimes, it’s just lots and lots of tears.

I do this until I feel the next feeling, the one after the anger.

And when the anger shifts – which it will – I put my hand on my p*ssy (stay with me, you knew we’d be going here)…and I listen. The wisdom always comes.

From that connected place, I take right, aligned, inspired, creative action.

Anger that doesn’t receive this care and attention becomes leaky.

It oozes out at the too-slow grocery store clerk, or in traffic, or at the kids, or the dog. It’s toxic…to our environments and to ourselves. And it makes us destructive and depleted, which goes against our nature as creative beings.

But when it does receive this care and attention?

Your anger becomes your wisdom. Your anger tells you how to create an extraordinary and meaningful life on your own terms, and it gives you the energy to do it. Your anger can change everything. For you, for others, for all of us.

When the mood strikes, rage until that rage becomes fuel for something true and holy.


This is so important to me that the curriculum I teach devotes hours to the deep practice of expanding our emotional range, marrying our anger with our intuitive wisdom, and – most of all – feeling stronger and more powerful than the system that is designed to keep us small.

Hit reply and tell me about your anger.

What are you angry about today? What does your anger want you to change? Does it feel clean and compelling to turn your anger ON?

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena's


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