Family

In defense of difficult women

December 16, 2025

I have never been an easy woman to manage. Even as a girl, I had the scent of disobedience on me. The kind that makes teachers tense, nuns nervous, and parents sigh heavily across the dinner table. I didn’t know what to call it when I was younger. I just knew that certain expectations scraped […]

The erotic intelligence of giving your all

December 9, 2025

Every woman I know is starving for a life she can devour. Not nibble. Not sample. Devour. We’re drowning in advice that tells us to “pace ourselves” and “protect our energy,” as if we were delicate machinery instead of divine thunder in a soft body. But here’s the truth the world keeps trying to sand […]

December doesn’t get to decide who you are

December 2, 2025

The week after Thanksgiving always feels like a slow slide into holiday hysteria. Before you’ve even swallowed that last bite of pie, the world is whipping you toward Christmas and New Years, demanding a smile, a casserole, a slice of manufactured cheer. And all the while? Millions of women are quietly running themselves ragged. So […]

A ferocious kind of thanks

November 25, 2025

This time of year always gets to me. Not because of the holiday itself, or the recipes, or the travel, or the forced cheer. No, Thanksgiving hits me because it demands something that most of us spend our days avoiding… Presence. The kind that drags you closer to the bone of your own life. At […]

Finding her way in grief

December 15, 2020

My mom’s fiance died of Covid on Saturday. The man with whom she sang showtunes, read the New York Times cover to cover, shared meals, spent her days. They have been inseparable for eight long years. It all started a year after his first wife died. My mom, a woman who had been a faithful […]

When life feels like an uphill slog

October 10, 2017

If we are lucky, blessed and showered with unbelievable and unasked-for magnificent grace – life is long. And the experiences we have are varied, multifaceted, and scampering all over the spectrum from shitty-as-fuck, to earth-shakingly ecstatic. (I am especially thinking of our brothers and sisters and animal friends in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and the Caribbean […]

The cost of being “right” all the time.

September 6, 2017

There is a part of me that always wants to be in control, and to know I am “right”.  Oh I just love that feeling.  Maybe love is not the right word. It’s more like validated. By my own little inner taskmistress. I give myself a gold star of rightness that is as satisfying as […]

The pitfalls of being “nice”.

August 2, 2017

So . . . he starts to kiss you in a way that makes you feel like he is a bull and you are a salt lick. But you really like him. So, you say nothing, and just kind of try to hope that one day it improves. Or: Your partner continues to drink too […]

She’s 92 years of fierce.

March 22, 2017

There are so many ways for a woman to ‘go for it’. From bold and blazing balls of public fire, like Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, to quieter but equally powerful ways, like my mama. Many of you know my mom because she has not missed a class weekend in over 12 years. She is the […]

Do you put yourself last?

January 17, 2017

Where do you fall on the scale of priorities in your life? Do you put yourself first? Or last? Would you cancel your plans with friends if your boss asked you to work late? Do you invest in yourself? Or give your all to others? Do you know how harmful that is? OK, I admit […]

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