Crime of Passion: A Valentine’s Rant


Here was my fantasy newspaper headline this morning:

Mama Gena, deranged leader of the Pleasure Revolution, joined by a pack of hot-looking Sister Goddesses, was picked up by police after defacing hundreds of Valentine’s displays throughout the city.

Good goddess, I get so divinely irritated by Valentine’s Day.
It is one of those days–like Christmas–that can really set a woman up to feel like she does not have her shit on straight.
And this year, I am in a particularly gnarly mood.
As you all know, I am dating. Whew. 🙂
(BTW, a HUGE thank you to those of you who sent me guys last month. I have had a couple of really really fun dates, and look forward to more! Keep ’em coming!)
At least I was in a gnarly mood…until I talked to Sister Goddess Emily, and she reminded me of where she was last Valentine’s Day.
Which reminded me that no matter how many stupid cupids are glaring at me with their pointy arrows, there is no excuse to waste a crime of passion on one of those little guys.
Read how Emily’s genius not only turned her Valentine’s Day around, but turned her life upside down and sideways till she was living her dreams, and beyond….

In January 2010, I was still recovering from a horrific heartbreak the previous autumn, and started out my year still convinced that I would never love again at the ripe old age of 28. As February approached, my thoughts were grim, “Oh, God. I hate Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to have a date. Wah wah wah.” You know the drill, I’m sure. But then one day, my spirit of human ingenuity and my Mastery training sprang to life and I thought, “Well, if I’m never going to have a boyfriend again, I’d better learn how to be the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

So I did! I made the decision that February 2010 was going to be a wonderful month, come what may, and that I would do all the things for myself that a really great boyfriend would. Read on for what I did…
  1. I started out the month with a trip to my favorite sex shop, Coco de Mer, and purchased myself a little book of Pablo Neruda love poems. Then, I stopped by Vosges chocolates and bought myself a box of their truffles, my absolute favorite chocolates in the world (which I’d already learned through extensive chocolate research…). Both places, I asked the shop girls to wrap the purchases as a gift, because they were – a gift for myself! Doing this cranked up the fun factor of both the shopping trip and opening my gifts at home.
  2. Every night during the month of February before bed, I took off all my clothes, laid down on my sofa, and read myself a Pablo Neruda poem, once in English and then again in Spanish, really taking my time and savoring the sound of the words, even though I don’t speak a lick of Spanish. Then I’d savor one chocolate truffle – first smelling it, then admiring the texture, then nibbling it with the slowest, tiniest bites so that it took me the better part of 10 minutes to eat one truffle. If I had fresh flowers around, I’d end this ritual by sprinkling rose petals over my body, or I’d take a soft feather and enjoy the way it felt against my skin. This ritual always brought me back to a place of self-love, no matter what the day held, and also helped me ease into a relaxing sleep.
  3. I made sure to cook myself at least 3 new meals per week – things I’d never made before – to make myself feel even more loved and cherished.
  4. I joined Inner Circle at Mama Gena’s, because I knew that this would keep the spirit of self-love flowing for the next six months, and would support me in going for all my desires (this was really a genius move, if I say so myself…)
  5. I started S Factor classes as a pleasurable way to move my body in the dead of winter (soooo much better than joining a gym).
  6. I organized lots of dates with people I love–friends, gay boyfriends, theatre dates, brunch dates–as many fun outings as I could.
  7. For Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a gift I’m always happy to receive – a big bag full of Lush Valentine’s Day products! I look forward to these delights every year, and they never fail to disappoint. I made sure that I used them all up by the end of February to ensure that I would take several delicious baths to round out the month of pleasure.
  8. I bought two beautiful cards and wrote a love letter to myself and one to my future beloved. Because guess what? By the time I did all these things, I had faith that there WOULD be a beloved again. And you know what – now there is! But that’s a whole other story…

So that’s my list. I wanted a boyfriend who would cherish me, spoil my senses, take me on lots of fun dates, and encourage me to step into bigger things. And you know what? By cherishing myself, spoiling my own senses, taking myself on lots of fun dates, and encouraging myself to step into new, bold things, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world last February and every day since.

If I hadn’t picked up the tools I learned in Mastery and leaned into my community of Sister Goddesses, I can guarantee you I’d have plodded through February (and every other month) miserably. But because of my February pleasure experiment, I started dating again–a lot–which was FUN! I was living in that spirit of fun with men when I met my current amazing boyfriend–who is the love of my life, and is actually flying me to the U.K. next month to MEET HIS PARENTS!!!!! I promise you he wouldn’t have found me half as adorable if I hadn’t been living in my pleasure and treating myself like a goddess. And even more importantly, I have the tools to continue to care for myself, even now that the boyfriend has arrived. But I had to go there myself first before I could take someone else on the ride.

For me a great boyfriend would read me love poems while feeding me chocolate truffles, but for some it may be planning that long-desired skydiving trip (eek!) or taking a class in pastry-making (yum!). The only thing to remember is that you don’t need to wait for the boyfriend to arrive to do all the wonderful things he’d do for and with you. Do them now, Field of Dreams-style, and you’ll be having too much fun to care if he comes or not. And if nothing else, you’ll have an amazing February this year that will carry on into the next 10 months and beyond!

SG Emily

The Womanly Arts Mastery Program is wide-reaching, in-depth and outstanding—with all you need to not only taste your dreams but chow down. Spring Mastery 2011- the only Mastery Program this year- kicks off on Saturday, March 5th- only 18 days from now!

Everyone enrolled by 5pm next Monday, February 21st will get to be on the phone LIVE with Mama Gena for the “Welcome to Spring Mastery” call.  You’ll join Mama and your classmates from all over the globe to get the party started!

Are you ready to experience the level of havingness that SG Emily is having-not only with your relationships- but in every area of your life? Are you ready to put your hands on the controls of YOUR creativity, YOUR enjoyment, YOUR pleasure and YOUR love?

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena


Mama Gena's


A free journey to awakening your most confident, radiant self.

Take the School of Womanly Arts free 5-day Self-Love Mini-Course and learn 5 specific daily practices you can use (and Mama Gena uses herself) to shift the reality of your everyday life…even with a demanding career, while raising kids, or when you're incredibly busy.