Sometimes hard things are just…hard.
It’s not that you didn’t do the right thing.
Or that you didn’t do enough.
Or that you weren’t up for it.
Or that you missed the boat.
Or gave too little.
Or too much.
You didn’t blow it, or bungle it, or mess it up.
More often than not, you are just a perfect being in the midst of a perfectly overwhelming situation.
Things can get hectic at work.
Or things can get hectic because you can’t find work.
Maybe you break up with your lover. Or your lover breaks your heart.
You miss your period. Or you don’t miss your period.
Your kids get sick. Your car breaks down. The toilet won’t flush. You are late. Again.
All of these things can throw a woman off her game and into a state of self-attack.
When we are spread thin and overwhelmed, it’s as if the world has gone topsy-turvy. It’s hard to get our balance, hard to locate our center, and way too easy to turn on ourselves.
The only way back to a place of agency and empowerment is through pleasure. But when sh*t hits the fan, the last thing on earth we want to do is something pleasurable.
Take yesterday as an example. I was a jumble of thoughts and fears.
So, even though I didn’t feel like it, I walked to my favorite coffee shop. After two lattes, I dragged my somewhat, slightly-less-cranky ass to the gym. And once I got home post-workout, I decided to dance my forlorn ass around the house while stripping out of my gymwear. This is where the shift really began.
What do I mean by shift?
Well, when we are in the mode of self-attack, we fall out of grace with ourselves and the universe.
We are no longer in flow. Self-hatred and shame break a woman’s connection with her divinity. And we have been taught to be our own perpetrators in this disconnection from source.
Pleasure is the road back to flow. The road back to embodiment. The road back to self love.
The experiment of choosing pleasure inside a moment of despair or dissatisfaction is not easy. It takes courage.
And actually, you can’t expect to feel better right away, even when you take the first step. Sometimes you have to travel down the road a bit, before your chemistry shifts and you find yourself in a place of approval again.
The thing is, pleasure is your birthright. It is always the way home. And taking the first tentative steps will open the portal between you and your divinity.
So the next time life throws you a curveball, choose pleasure.
Instead of wallowing in blame and shame, reach for the little things that bring you joy. Do this as many times as it takes to find your center.
Eventually, the universe will open, the stars will align, and you’ll be back in a state of flow.
With so much love and pleasure,
P.S. Try reaching for pleasure this week when you least feel like it, and then hit reply and tell me how it went!