3 Reasons to Ditch Your Resolutions

Whew. Wow. We did it.  
Welcome to a brand New Year, my darlings. 2017 is here. And so many of us are thinking– perhaps now, more than ever—about what to make of it.  
What do we want to accomplish, discover, create, become?

‘Tis the season, when we women are encouraged to fiercely scribble our resolutions, recommit to our goals, sign up for cleanses and challenges, and try try try try try, this time, for sure, really,  to muster the willpower to stay on track. 

But this year, I want you to ditch your resolutions. Throw them out. Let them go. 

Because, let’s be real: 

How does a resolution make you feel?
Momentary high?  
Then a swift deep dive into disappointment?
Not pretty.
And what is it, exactly, that happens to a resolution – that it very often stays unresolved?

Is there some kind of inner demon programmed to detonate a resolution in its frail tracks?
An incubus who sucks the life out of your resolve the moment you pass a sexy looking dessert cart at a party?
Or face an employer who intimidates you?
Or lose another hour of this precious life to refreshing Facebook . . . again?

I have good news.

It’s not your fault. You do not have a willpower deficiency. 

You – and all of us living in this culture – are deficient in a vital nutrient that we have been taught to overlook and ignore for centuries.  
The Feminine. 
We’ve been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, for waaay too long. And the annual New Year’s resolutions craze is a perfect example. 

So what is the alternative to the relentless striving that can result in the depletion of  every aspect of a woman’s self esteem?

I want to recommend a new kind of discipline.

A feminine approach to committing to what it is we desire in the year ahead.

Today, I want to share three truths about the feminine creative process, what get’s in the way, and how you might want to shift your perspective about what you’re up to in the gorgeous year ahead. 

#1: Logic is the enemy of creation. 

Seriously. Worse than kryptonite to Superman.
Logic is the enemy of the feminine. 
Logic is limiting.
It stunts growth and stifles a woman’s creativity.
Logic says no, you can’t, it is just not possible.
And your desire slowly begins to vaporize. And you are left with a shrug, an ‘oh well’ and an eerie sense of failure.

The truth is, there is nothing impossible for a woman who understands how to access her feminine power, and use her body, mind and soul to get what she wants.

Inside and well beyond the Mastery classroom, I’ve watched more women defy logic than I can count, bringing deep desires fruition, every storyline as brilliant and unique as the woman who lives them. It’s what I live for.

  • What made it possible for Ellen, who started a nonprofit to serve women, to be able to generate a huge revenue stream for herself and her foundation?
  • What had Barbara, at age 67, fall in love – for the first time in her life – with a beautiful man, who can’t stop buying her jewelry?
  • And how about Angela, who gave notice, with nothing on the horizon except an unnamable intuition, score one of the most highly sought gigs in the publishing industry, working with an icon, two days before her current job ended?
  • Or Lynda, who at the age of 46, gave birth to her healthy baby girl, after being told there was no way she could get pregnant?

As I have often described, your desires are the interface between you, and that which is greater than you.

A woman’s imagination and creation gets cut loose through her connection to her own pleasure.
Her connection to source.
Her plugging into the magnificence of the body woman.
And connecting all those magical circuits to Sisterhood.

(Wanna take these concepts deeper? We still have a few spots open at The Womanly Arts Experience, happening January 21st – 22nd in NYC. Join us!)

#2: Desires hate your deadlines. 

Culturally, we have not been taught to encourage or respect the native indigenous growth cycle, or gestational cycle, of a desire.

Some desires seem to happen almost instantaneously. Hooray!
But other desires have their own timeline and cannot be squeezed out quickly like a tube of toothpaste.

In fact, pushing too hard for results can destroy a desire.

The most truly deep, magical, soul-shifting and profound desires require somewhat longer gestation.

With no judgment, and no timer.

The nature of woman is to want to be the housing for the gestation of creation in so many different forms. Whether it’s bringing a new life into the world, or an idea into the world, or a book or a business or a poem or a work of art or an ambition.

The problem is, none of us were taught how to withstand the wait.

Or – lawd have mercy – savor the wait.

And if we do not enjoy the gestation of a desire, it not only slows down the progress of the desire, but it makes life very frustrating and unhappy.

You were born to gestate, and anything you can conceive of is on its way to you, as long as you think so and feel so.

#3: Your yearning is beautiful. 

As women, we have largely lost touch with the Art of Yearning, and the discipline to practice it.

Instead, when a woman begins to risk yearning for something, her next response is typically a feeling of loss or lack. She despairs that she does not have that which she yearns for.

This alters her ability to conjure what it is that she desires.
Why? Because loss conjures loss.
It is only gladness that conjures gladness.

I know it feels like such a huge, insurmountable step, when you are steeped in the life-sucking formaldehyde of the “stuck,” to crank up your own happiness, joy, and radiance. 

From that spot, your radiance seems like the she-devil, as it lives on the opposite side of the world as you know it. And the devil you know seems so lovely and safe in its predictable living death, no matter how much it fails to deliver you what you really want.

True yearning comes from a place of alignment and attunement, where a woman and her divinity are batting for the same team, where she knows her desires will be met, and her longing was a beautiful extension of her truth.

When a woman yearns deeply and effectively, she has no doubt that what she longs for is on its way to her, under grace and in perfect ways.

This year, I challenge you to adopt a feminine approach. 

  • List your desires, without judgment. No desire is too big or too small. And whatever you do, do not ask “How?”. 
  • Savor the pleasure of having those desires. Feel it, allow yourself to turn on as you imagine them coming to fruition. Yearn, darling. Yearn. 
  • Tell everyone what you desire this year. Gather a supportive community of women who will tell you, “And so it shall be, or something even better.” Brag about what you are gestating this year. 
  • Identify tiny, pleasurable steps in the fulfillment of your desires. And take them. Anything that is even in the realm of your desire, lunge at it.

So . . . what do you think? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Tell me what you are desiring this year, how you’re savoring the privilege to yearn, and what your first steps on the path to creation are? 

Happy New Year! 



Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts

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