Sister,

Have you ever had a friend who could ask you the deepest, realest questions about your life’s work –– and have you laughing all the way through the answers?

For me, that friend is Layla Martin. It has always been Layla Martin.

Last month, I got to sit down in person with my beloved Layla on her podcast, This Tantric Life. (You already know my policy on Layla: when this glorious creature invites you somewhere, the only correct answer is yes. I have said it before, the last time she talked me into a High Priestess weekend, and I will keep saying it: it is always a good idea.)

We sat down to talk about the thing I have devoted my whole life to. Pleasure. Not pleasure as a reward. Not pleasure as a little treat you earn once the laundry is folded. Pleasure as power. Pleasure as a discipline. Pleasure as the birthright that was quietly stripped from us, and the path all the way back home.

We started with the big one: orgasm is so much more than climax.

Most of us were handed a definition of orgasm that’s about the size of a postage stamp. But orgasm is a whole state of being turned on to your own life. It is available to you in the grocery store, in a meeting, on an ordinary Tuesday, under nearly any circumstance, once you know how to reach for it.

Because here is what I told Layla, and what I will tell you, my love: your turn-on is not an accident. It is not something that just happens to you when conditions are perfect. It is a practice. You can learn to turn yourself on, on purpose, anytime you choose. And the woman who can do that is unstoppable.

And for the woman who struggles to orgasm — sister, I see you.

We went straight at it. The truest thing I know is this: the degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you can love your orgasm. It was never a plumbing problem. It is a permission problem. Pleasure opens for the woman who decides she is allowed to have it.

I even told Layla the story of the time I failed the final exam of my sexuality training. (Yes. The Queen of Pleasure flunked. You will have to listen to the whole humbling, hilarious tale.) Because none of this came naturally to me either. I had to learn it, practice it, be taught it. Layla is one of my great teachers in this work, she is the one who first taught me orgasmic breathwork, a practice that changed my life.

This is why I love sitting down with this woman.

Layla is my sister in pleasure, a kindred spirit and a fearless teacher, and our conversations always go exactly where the good stuff lives. We laugh, we go deep, we tell the truth out loud. It is a rare and delicious thing.

Go listen.

Our whole conversation went live on May 30, and we covered orgasm beyond climax, how to turn yourself on anytime, building a real pleasure practice, courtesan nights, and a whole lot more than I can fit in one blog post. Listen to our episode of This Tantric Life right here. 

I cannot wait for you to hear it.

With so much love and pleasure,

 

 

P.S. Everything Layla and I talked about — turning yourself on, on purpose, anytime; building a pleasure practice that holds you up no matter what life is doing — is exactly what I teach, step by step, in my beloved Virtual Pleasure Bootcamp. It is the living, breathing roadmap to the Womanly Arts: the place you actually build the practice, in your own body, with a whole sisterhood beside you.

The doors are open right now. Come join us in Virtual Pleasure Bootcamp.