Los Angeles.
It is all so much.

So much grief, so much destruction, so much devastation.

An almost unbearable amount of intensity to conceive of, imagine, or hold. So many lives, businesses, schools, nursing homes, hospitals, families, communities – shattered, obliterated, and decimated in the span of 6 days.

How can my heart, my body, my soul open to hold all of this? Not go numb? Stay connected?

 

Add this to the wars in Russia-Ukraine, Israel-Palestine, Sudan, Syria, Myanmar, and Afghanistan. The rise of global terrorism, the gun violence in this country, the massive impact of global warming and climate change that is ravaging our earth. And we find ourselves saddled with a level of grief that is nearly insurmountable – grief for ourselves, our communities, our families, our single tiny beautiful blue world.

I mean, let’s get real: How can any of us afford to feel it all right now?

I certainly can’t. I have so many responsibilities – caring for my elderly mom, teaching classes, writing a new book, being there for my kids, and my grandson.

Not to mention, I am currently vacationing (so selfish?) with some precious friends in Costa Rica. Far far away from all of these truths.

But, am I far away? No. Not really. Not ever.

This is where free will comes in. I can choose connection over disconnection. So can you. I can choose to feel empowered by life’s circumstances, rather than victimized, even when everything around me is shattering.

 

P*ssy teaches us that feeling deeply is critical for both our personal evolution and for the evolution of the world. Avoiding our rich emotional lives results in hopelessness and alienation, which, in turn, leads to all of the tragedy and abuse of our planet that we’re witnessing now.

When feelings are repressed, the consequences are tragic. We end up with violence in schools, mass shootings, a mercenary corporate culture, and an environment on the brink of collapse.

The game becomes power and profit, rather than humanity.

We are passing the responsibility for feeling our pain down to our children and grandchildren, who will have to live with the consequences of our unwillingness to do so.

What if all we had to do was grieve – a little – to begin the healing process?

 

What if the reason our culture is so violent is that we do not know how to grieve? Or we think we cannot afford to take the time to grieve?

What if we cannot transform until we grieve?

When we combine grief with eroticism, it creates a powerful alchemical process that can be deeply transformative and healing. These two forces – grief and eroticism – might seem at odds, but in reality, they are both profound expressions of human vitality and connection to life.

Eroticism, in its broadest sense, is the life force energy within us. It’s not just about sexuality, but also about passion, creativity, and regeneration. Grief, on the other hand, is a deep connection to loss and longing.

When combined, grief gets unstuck. Erotic energy can help move the heaviness of grief through the body, allowing it to flow rather than remain stagnant. The emotional intensity of grief finds an outlet through the expansive, liberating energy of eroticism.

Eroticism is inherently creative – it generates life, ideas, and connection. When grief is integrated with eroticism, it can create beauty from sorrow…fueling art, writing, music, or sensual expression, and turning loss into something more meaningful.

Destruction and creation hold hands through eroticism. By leaning into erotic energy, we find new ways to honor what has been lost, love what remains, and open ourselves to the unimaginable possibilities of creation.

 

It’s a radical act to feel pleasure and sadness simultaneously, acknowledging that the human experience is vast and complex.

Erotic energy is a celebration of life, itself. It reminds us that even in mourning, there is still joy, love, and passion to be experienced – and that it MUST be experienced for each of us to transmute this global pain into the creation of something we cannot yet know – or imagine – right now.

If you want to join me in this practice of infusing grief with the erotic (something I am about to do this very morning – first by myself, then, with a group of friends), here are some easy instructions for an embodied tool I created called Swamping:

• Pick three songs that vibe with the feelings you are feeling, right now.
• Grab a friend, or do this solo. Then, hit play on the music and let whatever emotions pour through your body, to flow.
• Feel the rage, feel the grief, and then, push some sexy through your body to complete.

(If you want deeper instructions on this practice, along with access to my dedicated Swamp playlists, click HERE for a quick how-to on Swamping or check out page 151 in my book, Pussy: A Reclamation, for more background.)

Wishing you beautiful expansion into the fullness of your erotic self, and trusting that wherever it takes you, it takes all of us higher.

With so much love and pleasure,
Regena