What to do if you aren’t loving your work

I had a 90-minute video-chat Zoom meeting last week. Even though the meeting was with Melinda Cohan, an incredible colleague and collaborator I love and admire, talking about a project that excites both of us, I could feel my brain going splat by the end of the meeting.
Splat. Not in a bad way. Just splat.
Like when you pour way too much soup in a bowl and it sloshes everywhere.
There was so much good content, so many details, such a rich list for follow-up.
But I was cooked.
Now, when my brain starts to fry, it is because I have been disconnected from my body for too long. When I am disconnected from my body for that long, I lose touch with my sensuality.
When I lose touch with my sensuality, it means I have lost touch with myself. And when I’ve lost touch with myself, I’ve lost my way.

I can’t think clearly, I can’t focus powerfully. It is difficult to feel my ‘yes’ and my ‘no’. My experience of myself shifts from being turned on, to turned off. And, especially in an important business meeting, I need connection to my higher power.

We tend to think of the experience of being turned on and embodied as something that is only relevant in the bedroom. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When I am turned off rather than turned on, I am unplugged from my power, my deep intuition, the part of me that is bigger than me. I am not connected to divine source. I am an ungrounded wire. When I am unplugged in this way, I am pretty much useless to myself and others. When I am unplugged in this way, I can even cause harm. I can be dangerous.

If I am turned on, in everything I do, there is a sense of aliveness. Presence. Connection. Fun. Humor. Joy. Focus.

The way I parent my child is different. There is spaciousness. When I am turned off, I feel my exhaustion, I lead with my frustration. There is never enough. Not enough time. Not enough help. Not enough me.

If I am turned on, I can listen to that inner voice that directs me to take the backroads instead of the highway. That voice that tells me to take a cab rather than the subway. The voice that tells me to seize this opportunity and let that one go.

The reverb when a woman chooses herself in this way is very powerful.
She leads and lives from the heart with her passion intact.

None of us were taught about the power of remaining true to our erotic nature, and plugged in to our embodied turn-on.
Do you want to see what I mean? Look at the state of the world today.
We are all living the legacy of women who never had the opportunity to live in connection to their erotic power. When the world values profit above the value of life and human need, there is no space for turn-on. No space for real relationship. No space for aliveness. No space for justice or equity. No space for the feminine. No space for divine connection, for the miraculous.

Work, for those of us who have it, can become a place where we trade our own numbness for food and shelter. And when we allow numbness to creep in anywhere, it acts like an early frost — it kills new growth. Both our own, and the growth of others.

So this is one of the areas where we get to be activists.
We get to be the portals to bring the divine feminine back to life, on the daily, inside everything we do.
We get to say ‘no’ to numb and ‘yes’ to feeling everything.
We get to create a new culture, one small act at a time.

I called Melinda back, and told her that I was fried after our meeting. She agreed it was a lot, and asked me what we could do to avoid the problem next time. I told her I thought if we called a dance break every 45 minutes we would be good.

Moving our bodies, especially with girlfriends, can tune a woman right back in and turn her right back on.

And we can all do our version of that move, pretty much whatever our work, whatever our circumstances.
If we can’t call a dance break during a business meeting, we can have our own private one in the hall, or in the bathroom, or in the elevator.
We can circle our hips as we commute.
Self-pleasure on the daily.
Run our hands over our bodies whenever we feel stressed.
Taking back our pleasure is a discipline, but it is way better than giving it away.
Taking back our power is a practice, and it will spark a new world.

It already is.


Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts

Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.

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