Sexy is confidence

Ready for a quick temperature read?
I want to know –
How’s your sexy doin’ these days?
Is she checked in?
Or checked out?

As I was paging through my notes in preparation for The Womanly Arts Experience (our introductory weekend course, which is coming up in just two weeks, and is almost full!) I remembered one of the incredibly brave and beautiful women who stood up and took the mic last year. Her words touched me so deeply. 

We’ll call her Jen and, like all of us, she was struggling with her ‘woman-ing’. Her sexy-ing. Her owning herself, owning her beauty, owning her power. Her sexy wasn’t exactly checked out but she was having trouble finding her.

Jen said that she’d been trying so hard to be confident for a very long time. She wanted to feel attractive – both on the inner and the outer. She wanted to know it, to own it. “Confidence is sexy” was her mantra. She’d repeat it to herself. “Confidence is sexy, confidence is sexy.” But, somehow, she never could quite really feel that confidence. Not beyond the superficial. She faked it but never maked it, you know? It was one of the reasons she decided to come to the Experience. 

Most women think that confidence comes from all the wrong places.

We have been taught that our innate power comes from getting a certain degree, a certain job, being a certain kind of pretty. We have been told that we gotta do a lot of stuff to get it. To feel it.

I told Jen to hang tight. That before the weekend was over, her confidence was going to hit her over the head and land in her lap, in the most unexpected way.

And then, part-way through our weekend course, she had the flash.

She threw her hand in the air when she realized the mantra she was using was all wrong. After jumping in to all the exercises and activities at the Experience, she got it. She grabbed the microphone and told the entire room, “I had it backwards – it’s actually the other way around – Sexy is confidence!” 

Sexy is confidence. 

It’s amazing what powerful jewels lie just past where we are taught to look. We are taught to shy away from our sexy, to shut down our radiance, to turn off our turn-on. When, actually, plugging in to our source energy is the only way to access our full throttle feminine power. And divinity.  

Once a woman opens her mind to turn on rather than off, confidence becomes rather simple. Instead of chasing it, she begins to access it. From where it’s always been.

Because you already know how to do it. All of us do. It’s in our DNA. We just need to give ourselves, and each other, permission. When we plug into our sexy, there is no agenda. Except being firmly and exquisitely ourselves, choosing what feels most pleasing for ourselves. When you are connected to your sexy, you are not trying to be or do anything for anyone. You are you. And you are delighted to be you. Thrilled to be you. It is intoxicating, and powerful.

It is simply about feeling the way you feel when you are choosing to enjoy your body – vital, alive, beautiful. Turned on. 

The by-product of when you’re feeling all that, when you are enjoying yourself, is that you end up feeling confident. Ba-bam. Just like that.  

Jen found her confidence. For the very first time in her life, she felt it. We all felt it.  
Sexy. Confident, as it should be.   

A lot can happen in a minute, in a weekend, in a year.

When women begin to access their turn-on – I’ve seen it, felt it, thousands of times – everything changes. 


Regena Thomashauer, aka “Mama Gena”
The School of Womanly Arts

Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.

Reserve your place today – limited spots remaining

You are invited and you are wanted and needed at the next School of Womanly Arts Experience weekend in New York City. The course is powerful, it is intense, it is unlike anything you have ever done. It is only for women. And it’s Regena’s gift to the community.

School of Womanly Arts Experience Weekend
February 3-4, 2018
Midtown Manhattan, New York City (exact address of venue will be emailed upon registration)
This event will fill to capacity very soon. If it calls to you, we recommend reserving your spot today.

Mama Gena's


A free journey to awakening your most confident, radiant self.

Take the School of Womanly Arts free 5-day Self-Love Mini-Course and learn 5 specific daily practices you can use (and Mama Gena uses herself) to shift the reality of your everyday life…even with a demanding career, while raising kids, or when you're incredibly busy.