Is life an adventure? Or a tragedy?

I ask myself this question a lot.

Escalating violence, sweeping intolerance, anti-LGBTQ attitudes, incidents of racism, sexism, transphobia, xenophobia, and all-out genocide in this country and the world have hit me, and many of us, like daggers of grief and rage to the heart.

Add to that my own personal challenges of caring for an aging mama who is facing major surgery, and single parenting a daughter who lives overseas…and things start to look pretty ominous. Pretty bleak.

I know you have your own list of huge hurdles to navigate – perhaps even more grave and daunting than mine.


So, let me ask, how do you cope when those hurdles become too much?

I tend to react poorly. My first move is to panic, “Oh no! Oh f*ck! I’m not built for this! I can’t handle it!”

My second impulse is to throw a pity party for myself. To blame the external, basically.

In defense of my extreme victimhood, I must say that my mind and body learned this pattern of behavior through acute observation. I watched my mother, grandmother, classmates, and best friends – all the girls and women in my growing up life – stifle their truth, put a lid on their feelings, and say ‘yes’, again and again, when they really meant ‘no’.

And there were few exceptions to this rule. I didn’t see a whole lot of women who were rocking with life’s challenges, or enjoying the adventure of femininity in all its facets and flavors.

To be perfectly real here, my biggest hurdle has always been what’s happening in my own head.


And I see this pattern play out repeatedly in the lives of the women I work with.

More often than not, it is our mental landscape – the myths we tell ourselves, the messages we internalize – that is to blame for either tripping us up or having us soar in moments of adversity.

And most of us have spent way too much time tripping, and way too little taking flight.

But, there is one foolproof, fail-proof method for making the leap from victim to heroine of your life. And that is a willingness to take pleasure into your own hands.


And I mean this is in the most literal sense.

See, each of us is gifted with 8,000 nerve endings dedicated to pleasure. As women, we are hard-wired to experience ecstasy.

So I try to spend a little time, each day, stroking my p*ssy with the goal of exploring what kinds of touch, pressures, and sensations she likes.

It forces me out of my head and into my body, where I’m safe from the crossfire of my swirling thoughts.

And on the other side? I’m flooded with feel-good hormones. I feel more courageous than cranky, and those former hurdles no longer loom so large.

Problems that once seemed impossible to scale, are now opportunities to practice…leaping.

With my innate wiring, my long list of woes, life could be experienced as a tragedy. But self-pleasure makes it an adventure, every single time.


So the next time you find yourself overthinking, under-feeling, and giving your power away – give this practice a try.

Just for a few minutes.

And let me know (on Instagram) how it goes…

With so much love and pleasure,

Mama Gena's


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