I am sure you have noticed.
Babies cry every single day.
Sometimes briefly, sometimes inconsolably.
They also laugh every day. Not to mention wriggle, crawl, bounce and flap.
And they move smoothly from emotion to emotion: wailing, then settling back to a set point of happiness pretty easily.
Nothing like a woman.
Women are encouraged to avoid our own wail. We suppress our rage. We are taught to cut off from our unhappiness, overstep our discomfort and bypass our deep grief and sorrow.
This detour around the truth creates a huge consequence.
How are you doing, since you two broke up? “Fine.”
How are things going since your mom died? “Fine.”
You lost your job? How’s the job hunt? “Fine.”
A woman’s life gets utterly lost to her in one harmless word: “Fine.”
She never really learns herself as a woman.
She never moves on.
She never learns to grieve.
She gets stuck in the permanent formaldehyde of “fine.”
No one who is fine ever has great sex.
No one who is fine ever falls in hot sexy love with their divinely destined partner.
Or creates a bestselling book, a career that inspires, an ecstatic family life, or inspiring friendships.
No one who is fine ever changes the world.
Women who were taught to spend their lives quietly licking their wounds in private never ever connect with their most deeply held emotions.
Passion and “fine” don’t live in the same neighborhood.
What I realized is that my access to passion was directly correlated to my ability to navigate my darkness.
Only in learning to surrender to the ruptures of life, and allowing myself to fully feel the darkness, could I also fully feel the light.
No grey “fine.”
Instead, Dark and Light.
But we have no idea how to expertly navigate our own darkness. We don’t want to “lose face” by showing how weak or lost or clueless we are. We are afraid that if we give into the feelings, we will never get out. We feel helpless when things become too overwhelming, and we feel like victims rather than heroines of our own storylines.
How can a woman fall utterly apart with the grace and dexterity of a toreador, seeing her life as she knows it flash before her eyes, yet land lightly on her feet, utterly remade by her own experience?
I knew, with my deepest soul, that this was possible. And out of this inquiry was born our 2nd-year training for Mastery grads, called the Creation Course. In Mastery we introduce a woman to her divinity, to her Turn-on, and teach her to befriend her darkness as we get her embodied and empowered. In Creation, we integrate that so fully that no matter what comes, she can navigate her way through any Rupture, and become her own heroine.
Creation pulls a woman off the tracks of her own mediocrity and compromise, and gives her the steps to live the greatness that is her birthright. It’s where we detonate “fine.”
Fine is nothing more than an indication of an adventure that you are about to unpack, a huge storehouse of your brilliance, a fortress of gold that is yours for the taking. The trick is that in order to unpack the gold out of fine, you have to sink into the feelings that each of us have been taught to cut ourselves off from.
Meet me here next week to experience one of the best ways I know to do just that. Meanwhile, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below this post:
Where does “fine” show up in your life? What you have discovered is buried underneath it? Tell us of the dark beauty and power and yearning you suspect is lurking there.
I can’t wait to hear from you.
With so much love and pleasure,