Have you ever turned to someone and said, “I’m not in the mood?”

It’s one of my all-time favorite excuses.

I have used it to avoid intimacy with my partner. To bail on a party. To avoid washing my hair, or a sink of dirty dishes. It’s kept me away from the gym. The gyno. The office. Having hard conversations. Checking my bank statements.

The list of things I am not in the mood for is basically endless. Really, it could be anything, everything.

It has kept me from going on dates. Raising my hand and sharing my perspective. Saying yes to adventures. Opportunities. Growth. Expansion.

And here is the worst thing: It has kept me from my magic.

The part of me that is bigger than me. The vast creative space inside me that can open to the miraculous again and again and again.

Because, just like you, there are times, places, and spaces where I feel in a state of something that I would call grace, or flow.

And I know it’s not just me. It’s all women.

So, I began to wonder if there was a massive conspiracy on the part of the patriarchal culture to keep women away from the thaumaturgic aspects of our feminine soul.

(Yo, I threw that word in to see if you were still paying attention. 👀 It means the working of wonders, miracles, or magic. Personally, I could use more words to describe this truth about women.)

We are all capable of so much more than we know.
We are vast, limitless, legendary.
We create life, in our bodies, for f*cks sake.

I mean, are you f*cking kidding me?! We create LIFE. Whether that is a baby, a business, a book, a home, a friendship. We take what does not exist – and birth it into reality.

And honestly, when I play the ‘I’m not in the mood’ card, it takes a massive ding out of my soul.

 

It damages my relationship to myself, because I am not living the full truth of who I am. I am cheating myself…out of myself.

And here is the ovaries to the wall truth: Living this way makes me dislike and doubt myself at a deep level. Which continues to snowball over time. And eventually, turns me into a dysfunctional disempowered wad of depression and anxiety. Rather than the legendary legend I was born to become.

I have spent years in the ‘I am not in the mood’ pit. But what lifted me, inspired me, and lofted me to heights unknown was when I discovered a legion of my ancestresses known as the Courtesans.

These women were born at a time when women had no rights, no privileges. They could not receive education, nor own their own money or property. Why? Because women were property.

And yet, they rose. They ascended. They liberated themselves. They broke free from the constraints of the patriarchal culture and lived their legends.

No Courtesan could afford to use the excuse ‘I’m not in the mood’. If she did, she might miss a moment of grace, of opportunity, that could lead her from poverty to plenty. From obscurity to opportunity.

 

And these women did not have half of the opportunities that we have today.

They chose a different paradigm, a different perspective to become living breathing thaumaturgists. 😉 Women who used their inner magic to recreate their existence.

In the next few weeks I am going to unfold many of the lessons that these women taught me to guide my life, my career, my childrearing, my flirtation, my money-making, and my relationship building.

We are about to embark on a game-changing journey together, my loves.

But first, the most important step, right now, is how are we going to stop the madness and turn ourselves on?

 

When women feel too much pressure and fear, we tend to want to hide, be alone, and our exhaustion surfaces. Tapping into our turn-on is the fastest most pleasurable way to get out of the depression-anxiety trap.

There is no such thing as ‘later’. There is no such thing as ‘one day I will be in the mood’.

There is only turn-on, right here, right now. Turn on because you can. Turn on as if your life depended on it. Because it does.

And I know, I know, I can hear you already: “But HOW, Mama? I’m stuck! I’m trapped! I’m depressed! I’m broke!”

Well, listen up. Because I’m here to give you the top 5 keys to tap into your turn-on when you are utterly tapped. (That’s what Courtesans do for one another.)

 

Here’s my BEGINNER’S list. Feel free to add or make your own:

• Costume change. Immediately. I gotta get my insides to match my outsides. So, when I am feeling like a moody whiny baby, I dress like one. I put on my big baggy Carter’s granny panties, and a T-shirt. Like a big girl onesie. Maybe some Keds, knee socks, hair in pigtails. If I am whining like a baby, I dress like one.
• Dance break. I give myself a bratty ‘I’m not in the mood’ song to dance to. Shania Twain’s ‘I’m not in the mood’ works well. (Her outfit on the album cover is inspiring.)
• Take an extra step of self care. If you are anything like me, this may be as simple as taking a shower, and yes, washing your hair. You won’t want to, but do it anyway.
• Rinse and repeat. If I am in the real pit of the pits, one act of self care might not cut it for me. I may need 2 or 3. So the next step is to straighten out something messy. Might be my desktop. Or cleaning the kitchen sink. Or making my bed. A lil pumice on my callouses. Little things count. A lot.
• Finally, head back in for another Dance Break. You will notice I use this prompt a lot. Choose a different song and you can change your mood. This time, I will risk something sexy that still aligns with my brat baby mood. I may go for Britney Spears’ ‘Oops I did it again.’ If I have found my sense of humor, dancing in my lil’ cotton onesie, then I am home free.

On the other side of this sequence, you will experience utter transformation. Turn-on does not mean you are ready to f*ck. It means you are saying yes to you.

Yes to your crankiness, yes to your moodiness, yes to your fear, yes to your stuck. And when you can yes all those undesirable parts…guess what? Hope appears. And when hope shows up, she opens the door for magic. Your magic.

And that is what the Courtesans did. They chose a different paradigm, a different perspective to become living breathing thaumaturgists. Women who used their inner magic to recreate their existence.

Now it’s your turn to accept this lineage, say yes to your ancestresses, and find a new pathway to your power.

In the days and weeks to come, I will give you more keys and more practices to tap into your turn-on. Today was just a beginner’s list. Let me know if it hit home.

And who knows? Maybe next week we can tackle some of my more advanced turn-on tools?

I can’t wait.

With so much love and pleasure,
Regena