Darlings,
We are a School, after all.
And schools have standards.
And tests are the way the headmistress gets her finger on the pulse of her students.
And I want to know exactly how bound you are. Right here, right now.
So, please take this down and dirty exam–grade yourself–and let me know exactly how you think you are doing, below, so I can best prepare for you in South Beach.
No cheating! Remember: even a woman who is totally bound, today, can lead the Unbound Parade, tomorrow!!
Pop Quiz: Are You Bound?
1. You see a hot man or woman across a crowded room, and your first thought is:
A) They are way too hot, I cannot approach them
B) Maybe later, after I have a drink
C) Let me make my way around the room and practice “turning it on for a dork**” and then I’ll go in for the kill
D) I am way too hot to not approach them
2. You’re in a relationship with your partner and think, “He’s not doing the dishes as often as I like,” so you…
A) Say nothing
B) Lose it and start yelling like a fury
C) Call your girlfriends and ask for tips on how to approach the situation
D) Ask him to meet you for a date in the kitchen. He arrives to find you dressed exquisitely, lying on the counter by candlelight, opposite a sink full of dirty dishes. You tell him how much it turns you on to watch him scrub the dishes, and could he just put a little soap on the sponge to start? When he does, you nearly roll off the counter with excitement.
3. At the office, you have incredible thoughts and opinions about how to drive the work flow and make things easier for everyone. You bring them up at the next staff meeting, and a co-worker emphatically puts down your opinion. You decide to…
A) Keep your mouth shut for the rest of the meeting while mentally criticizing yourself
B) Go into defense mode and retaliate with a biting comment
C) Thank them for the feedback and continue with getting your point across
D) Mentally repeat your womantra “I am the hottest, sexiest genius at this staff meeting,” upride your co-worker for being so passionate and responsive, and elaborate on your ideas with even greater enthusiasm
4. You’ve always secretly yearned to be a jazz singer. One of your best girlfriends, also a musician, just booked a gig at Blue Note. You immediately think:
A) That bitch!
B) It’ll probably never happen for me—I’m not good enough anyway. Time to browse the classifieds for a real job.
C) I’ve got to call and make reservations now so I get a table front and center of the stage to cheer her on!
D) I’m going to stop and buy a bouquet of roses and take her out to dinner tonight to celebrate! This must be a sign that I’m on my way to becoming the next Ella Fitzgerald.
5. You’re on a busy street, in the middle of the crosswalk, and you drop your keys. You bend down to pick them up and hear the seat of your pants rip, exposing your underwear to a line of traffic and nearby pedestrians. Construction workers are now whistling. You:
A) Run to the nearest tailor, mortified
B) Decide to join Weight Watchers
C) Have a good laugh and wave to the construction workers
D) Declare to yourself, “I am a genius for wearing sexy undergarments at all times” and snap a quick photo on your phone to send to your lover. You then call your girlfriend for a little impromptu shopping spree to help you pick out an even hotter pair of pants.
**To learn more about this exercise, check out page 30 of “Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men”
Scoring:
Mostly A’s: You are bound. Stuck. Settling. Playing it safe.
Mostly B’s: You are seeking to unbind in ways that lead you nowhere.
Mostly C’s: You are a force to be reckoned with. You know how to guarantee your own good time.
Mostly D’s: You are living a life unbound! Your motto is, “Why walk, when you can boogie? Why boogie, when you can dance on tabletops?!” You know how to turn every obstacle into a marvelous adventure.
So how’d you do? Post your score in the comments below. And if you’re ready to unblock your passion, unlock your radiance, and unfurl your desires, come to the World Wide Sister Goddess Reunion: A Life Unbound! And if you really, really wanna get unbound, bring your girlfriends, mothers, sisters, aunts—any woman who could use a high-octane dose of fun. In honor of the stand you take for your sisters, I will be treating to lunch the Sister Goddess who brings the most women to the reunion. You heard me—lunch for you and your gang, poolside, is on me, and you can ask me any of your burning questions!
Ever since last week’s video teaser and our postcard debut, the Palace phones have been ringing with questions on what “A Life Unbound” really entails. And I don’t want you waiting until the reunion to get unbound. That’s why next Thursday, Oct. 13th, I will be hosting a free preview call, where I will be taking you on a tour of A Life Unbound and what it really means to take ownership of yourself as a free woman on this planet. And I’ll be announcing a very special surprise… Click here to register to attend live or receive the recording. Join us for the pre-Miami party!
With so much love and pleasure,
Mama Gena
