Want to play a game with me?
It’s not an easy game.
It has two parts.
You are not going to like it at first.
But then, you will find freedom beyond your wildest dreams.
You in?

See, I know a thing or two about women.

Our sense of our own beauty is wobbly AF.
Sometimes we think we are gorgeous and irresistible, and other days we can barely scrape ourselves off the floor of negative self-judgment .
And believe me, I do not blame us for not feeling beautiful, or sexy, or worthy, or enough.
Our enoughness takes a beating on the daily, in this patriarchal world culture.

How many dollars are each of us spending on the beauty industry itself? (450 billion dollars!)
And how much of that goes directly to lining the pockets of (mostly) men?
We are willing to spend anything and everything on creams, powders, potions, and treatments to look young and firm and ageless.
Why?

Because we fear that if we don’t do everything we can to look young and desirable – and this is where the rubber meets the road – that we will be unloved.

Unseen.
Unnoticed.
Ignored.
And that is kryptonite to a woman’s soul.
Literal kryptonite. Women shrivel and die on the vine from all that ‘un’.
We need positive, pleasurable attention in order to thrive.

What no one tells us – and this is where the game comes in – is that the pleasurable attention that we give ourselves is actually what creates beauty inside of each of us.

This is the work.
This is the practice.
The Womanly Art of Owning your Beauty

This is where feminism meets self-talk.

This is where the movement gets real – starting right inside our heads.
This is when we get to choose to be powerful.

So here I am, facing my mirror this morning, just waking up.
And I get to choose. “Hot!” or “Ewwwwwww!’

This is the work.
This is when we are powerful.
I have a negative thought.
I have a self-hatey feeling.
And I recognize it as not my own.

I choose this instead: I am lovable, beautiful, sexy, hot, and desirable.

Now.
Exactly as I am.
I get to decide.
We get to decide.
Disapproval is never, never, never the path to approval.
Beauty takes practice. Beauty takes discipline. Beauty takes rebellion.
Sometimes, it takes a village to overthrow negative habits.
Will you be mine? I am yours.

Part two of the practice? Approve of other women. Tell your mom she’s beautiful. Tell your sister her laugh lights up a room. Tell the woman you’re sharing a ladies’ room mirror with that she looks amazing in that lipstick. Tell the cashier she has a stunning smile. Tell your doctor she has a special way of making you feel understood and cared for. Tell your kid’s teacher that you see how hard she works.

The thing about noticing what’s right in others is that it makes it easier to notice what’s right in ourselves.

Women’s self-approval undermines the patriarchy.
Today we each get to choose to adore ourselves (and other women) for no reason.
I am lovable, beautiful, sexy, and desirable.
Now.
As-is.
I get to decide.
We get to decide.

Oh, and by the way, you are radiant, today. Pass it on…

With so much love and pleasure,

P.S. You beautiful, sexy woman, are invited to join me for a Facebook Live on March 12 at noon ET! Put it on your calendar – we can’t wait to see you. (Are you on the Mastery Grads Facebook page? I’ll be doing a special Facebook live for grads at 1 pm on March 12. Check your email and the Mastery Grad Portal for details.)

Regena is a feminist icon, a teacher, a speaker, a mother, a best-selling author, and creatrix and CEO of The School of Womanly Arts.