
Has anyone ever told you that you’re ‘too much’?
Too loud?
Too emotional?
Too needy?
Too desperate?
Too clingy?
Too sexy?
One of my guy friends was complaining to me, just yesterday, that women are insane.
And this is a really great guy with a wife, and three daughters. Who was raised by a single mom. But he simply could not – cannot – comprehend or understand the way a woman works as being ‘right’. Nor could he validate that while we are different from men, our way is just as valuable as a man’s way.
And he, like so many men and women in this culture, decided that the way a woman responds to the world is wrong, and the way a man responds to the world is the right way to be.
His point of view was so validated by the larger culture, that he did not question it.
Just as women don’t question it.
We have all been taught to be in disagreement with the nature of the feminine.
Which is kind of crazy—it’s like being critical of the way the sun rises, or the moon changes its shape each night.
(BTW, this is a big part of why I wrote my new book, Pussy: A Reclamation.)
It’s time for a woman to not only learn to love every aspect of her true nature, but also to gain the power and confidence that come from connecting to her truest truth.
You can stuff women in a man-suit all you want, but it will never change or diminish our nature.
I have been teaching classes for over 25 years, and I have never ever met a woman who wasn’t in some way, shape or form—too much.
I embarrass my friends and family by how loudly I laugh, shriek and cry when I am watching a movie, or worse, when I am at a live performance, especially on Broadway.
I cannot help myself. Nor do I want to.
We are not supposed to be contained.
Or consistent.
Or “fine”.
Life is only wonderful when we are having the chance to live full throttle. To play all 88 keys on our piano, not just Middle C, over and over again.
And no one tells us that! We are told that we are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. We are told to stuff the deep, dark emotions inside. We are never supposed to be angry or jealous or flat out enraged.
Why would we have all these emotions if we weren’t supposed to feel them?
Think about a toddler. In the expanse of a minute, she can go from gales of laughter to collapsed in tears, and then back to giggles again.
And we have been taught, over and over again, to keep a lid on it, stifle it, hold it back, and hold it in. In so doing, we lose so much of our native enthusiasm and life force, that we end up keeping a lid on our enthusiasm for the work we do, or the people we date, or the way we truly feel.
When we aren’t connected to the way we truly feel, our decisions lead to compromise.
If we are taught to suppress ourselves, how will we ever be able to communicate our satisfaction or dissatisfaction in the world?
How will we ever be able to live our truth?
No wonder there is an epidemic of dissatisfaction and a crisis of confidence amongst women.
When a woman feels like she is too much, she no longer feels proud of herself. She feels a lot of shame.
I have a lot to say about this topic. In fact, I basically wrote a book about it.
It is time for women to stand powerfully in the truth of what they are feeling, seeing, sensing. It’s time for a woman to connect to her native enthusiasm, and allow her truth to have its way with her life.
Women just are not cut out to be smaller, more limited versions of men.
We are supposed to be too emotional, too passionate, too much.
It’s because women love so big and feel so deeply.
And those are qualities that are meant to be celebrated, not diminished.
If you feel a pull to take this on, to learn how to truly celebrate and leverage all of these qualities, I hope you take a second to check out my new book (and the game-changing thank you gifts I created for everyone who preorders a copy).
My wish for you, and for every woman? That you feel an unprecedented sense of your own rightness. That you can connect to the enthusiasm you remember you had, as a child. And that you will be able to lay out your truth, loud and proud.
Let’s get that lid of shame off of the legend you were born to become.
Here’s to every drop of your too-muchness, and mine,