Last week’s book launch was seriously and no kidding the total highlight of my career, my life.
What do you do when a dream you have been dreaming, slowly roasting, basting, tending, turning, and nurturing for 20 years, leaps to life and comes true in more glorious, fabulous, heart-opening ways than you could have ever dreamed?
Well, today, instead of flying and flitting around like a chirpy little birdie, I am one cranky ass.
Yeah you heard me.
The pleasure queen tanks to the cranks.
And I know that I am not alone in this.
I have witnessed thousands of women, over the years, going down for the count as soon as one of their sweetest, most tenderly longed for dream comes true.
My pal Veronica took a four month vacation with her boyfriend, and as soon as she got to paradise, she was hit with such an attack of the crankies that her boyfriend moved to another hotel.
When Simone’s girlfriend told her she loved her and wanted to marry her, Simone suddenly found a billion things wrong with her.
Leslie finally bought herself the farm upstate. And spent the next year hating the farm she finally bought, and ran away to the city every chance she got.
Have you noticed, let’s say, after a big party, or a wedding, or a great vacation, that as soon as the big event is over, you crash and burn?
Have you ever hit your upper limit?
Are you at the tippy-top of your ability to have?
And more importantly, is our upper limit finite, and written in stone?
Or is there another way around it?
Can we bust through this invisible wall to have even more than we are having?
Because, let’s face it: one of the most beautiful designs of being a woman is the fact that we are composed of one gorgeous, raw desire, after another. That’s what makes us beautiful, eternal and irresistible at any and every age.
Once one longing is gratified, and we have properly ingested, digested, enjoyed and savored it, another desire will spring to magnificent life inside of us.
Which is where the fun is.
A new adventure is cut loose.
A woman knows who she is when she is turned on, rather than turned off, and in the flow of her desires, rather than all clogged up and cranky.
So, I thought on this, the morning of my great crankihood, following a week of one of my greatest desires fulfilled, I would share with you my 4 best tips on how to have even more than you have ever dreamed you could have, by digesting the goodness that is in your life, right now.
You see, a pleasurable experience is composed of three very important parts.
A. The desire appears as an idea, and we begin to court it, long for it, prepare for it, enjoy the thought of it, and take relevant steps towards creating it.
B. The actual desire manifests in our lives! The dream becomes real! (Your book is launched, you become engaged, you get the big promotion, you are finally pregnant, etc etc etc.)
C. This is the least known and most important step. No one teaches us how to actually digest a desire, once it comes true. The fairy tale ends with the words, “happily ever after” but—let’s get real here—no one tells us how to do that step.
We all have to put some serious meat on our happily-ever-after muscles. I am going to show you how it’s done.
Here’s 4 Steps to Crash Through Your Upper Limit . . . so good times can get better:
Step 1: Get cracking with the gratitudes.
Go over the top. Thank everyone you can think of. Be effusive. Be creative. Think Academy Award speeches that go on waaay too long. Do that, no one is stopping you. Thank everyone and then some. Write a thank you note to the maid who made the bed in the hotel you stayed at.
I’ll go first, here’s a slice of my gratitude:
Whew wow. Wowza. I am so grateful. Grateful to you. Grateful for being welcomed into your inbox more than usual. Grateful to you who showed up live for the launch, in person, grateful to those of you who livestreamed with me from every state in the United States and 41 countries of the world. I am so grateful for the support of Hay House, my publisher who said yes to my gorgeous dream, grateful for my pals Kris, Marie and Gabby who showed the f*ck up, grateful to my brilliant amazing team who put out non-stop for all of us. Grateful for the word grateful. Grateful to my dad who always said I could be a writer. Grateful to my mom who, thank goddess, is alive to share this moment with me. Grateful to my bro Richard and his wife, Jill. Grateful to my roommates from Mount Holyoke College who are still my dear chums today. Grateful to Ruth, the song siren, who is my person and who sets Mastery to music. Grateful to my daughter Maggie – the living, breathing reason for my being and my greatness. Grateful to Susan B. Anthony, Lucretia Mott, my mama Wilma Harris, Bruce Springsteen, Pink, Freddy Mercury, David Bowie, Sheila Kelley, Nicole Daedone, Tracy Chapman, blueberry scones from the Golden Pear, Kate Bush, that first coffee in the morning. Grateful for this breath.
This was about 4 minutes worth. I could go on, and I will. But I think you get the point?
Step 2: Create a ritual for yourself.
Today, I might head to the ocean. I will call in my ancestors, and express my thanks. I will feed the ocean small bits of fruit. And bring her flowers. I will whisper my thanks for all that I have and I will dance on her shores, and baptise myself and all of my goodness with her generous waters. If there is no ocean nearby, no worries. You can light a candle in your own home, and say a prayer, giving thanks. You can whisper each of your gratitudes out loud, and lay a small stone around the candle to signify each gratitude. Place a small offering of fruit and flowers around your candle, to make a gift to the holy. Giving your accomplishment straight back to the divine feels so good. We are nothing without that which is greater than us.
Step 3: Do an act of anonymous good.
This might be making an anonymous donation to a favorite charity. It might mean secretly giving flowers or chocolates to a co-worker, or a neighbor. It might mean that you buy a coffee for the next person in line, and quickly leave the cafe, or cleaning up the restroom for the next person. Or taking a trash bag with you on your walk and picking up any garbage on your way. It feels so good to give.
Step 4: Every time you pass a mirror, wink at yourself and say, “I deserve this”.
Because you do. You can handle this. You got this. Hell to the yes, you created this!!
In this world, we have to be so fierce with this much-underused muscle of building up our ability to have what we have. Why? Well, I need you to be as big and blazing and beautiful as you can possibly be in this lifetime.
And if all of us can digest what we have, then we can go on to create even bigger and better dreams. And the bigger and better your dreams become, the bigger and better my dreams become –and so on and vice versa until each of us grow bigger and brighter than we could have ever imagined on our own.
In the comments below, I’d love to hear from you:
- Tell me about an experience where you hit your “upper limit” and started to sabotage the good in your life. How did you move through it?
- Which of the steps above resonates the most? Which feels hardest? Easiest?
- What are your tricks to increase your ability to let in and celebrate the goodness in your life?
p.s. Because of you, this unbelievable community, Pussy has been a raging success. Last week, we crushed it on the Amazon Bestseller lists and we SOLD OUT pretty much everywhere. That’s because of this sisterhood right here, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Also, we’ve heard that some of you weren’t able to get the book or bonuses because the book has been sold out in so many places — what a great problem to have, yikes!
Our publisher is printing more copies and refilling stock as fast as they can, but because of the Pussy shortage (ha!) we’re going to keep the special book bonuses going for a few more days so everyone has a chance to participate if they wish.
We apologize for any inconvenience and also THANK YOU SO MUCH for the overwhelming enthusiasm for this book! Wowza!